


Fix You

by DeviousBodminEngr



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Midsomer Murders - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Finding Love, Friends to Lovers, Hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4889701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviousBodminEngr/pseuds/DeviousBodminEngr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>im using the Prompt i have been sent as the summary...</p><p>Laurence Barker has two great loves in his life--music and his actress wife Ellen. however Laurence isn't one of life's natural winners, because on the very fay that he discovers his wife's infidelity, he also loses his dream job to his arch rival Francis Crawford. Determined to reclaim both his musical standing and the love of Ellen, Laurence becomes driven to win the Midsomer's Worthy Choir competition.</p><p>His heart breaks when he realizes that Ellen is already lost to him and unable to face the possibility of even further failure at the choir competition, Laurence packs a few belongings and heads out of Midsomer with no real plans for the future.</p><p>Finding himself at the train station, Laurence jumps on the next train for a chance of meeting changes in his future which he couldnt imagine...</p><p>it's not over till the fat lady sings...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER 1: "The End Where I Begin"

**Author's Note:**

> the title is based on the song "Fix You" by Coldplay; i haven't tried any crossovers but Peter Capaldi's character in an episode of Midsomer Murders drove me into writing this. the prompt was given to me by songtothesirenposts. thank you so much, and enjoy :D

CHAPTER 1: “The End Where I Begin”

“Every story has an end, but in life every end is just a new beginning.”

That night after their last practice, Laurence knew there was nothing keeping him in Midsomer.   
Slowly he drove himself home with one thought in mind.

He needed to get away, that much he knew. It doesn’t matter where he was going, he just needed to get away.   
After all what was the point in staying where you’re quietly unwanted.   
There was nothing keeping him there, it had been over for a while and he was too blind to even notice.

Quietly, he packed a few things and left. Somewhere deep in his heart he was hoping that Ellen would have tried to stop him, make him stay. The monster inside was insistent, telling him that he had been nothing but a fool; she didn’t love him, she had never loved him.  
Laurence found himself sitting at the train station en route to London; he had nowhere to go, no plans, he just knew that he had to leave.   
His heart was hurting on so many levels as the words echoed inside his mind “I don’t love you, I don’t think I ever did…” the words hit him like a ton of bricks; all the times he tried to save his marriage, tried his best, put his heart on the line and it all still came down to this.   
He loved her, that much is true, and that she knew, but she just didn’t feel the same.

He heard something pitter-pattering on the pavement but he didn’t look up, he was too lost in his own misery.  
“Hi! Do you mind if I sit next to you?” a voice came up from beside him.   
Moving his coat and bag, he scooted towards the end to make room for her, still he didn’t look up.  
“Thank you…” she started to say, but the words died on her lips, the man obviously didn’t want to talk, happy to sit in melancholy and silence. 

She found herself regarding the best looking man she had ever seen. He was no Henry Cavill or Tom Hiddleston or Christian Bale, her normal standards for judging men (not that she judged, no of course not). He was something else, his profile Roman, his jaw sharp, his nose perfect. She found herself imagining how captivating his curls would be if he allowed his hair to grow just a little longer. She didn’t think about sliding her fingers through them – what on earth was wrong with her. His skin was pale, with a hint of blue, a Scotsman perhaps? But she can only guess…

Suddenly it occurs to her that she’s never been alone with a man before. Not that they’re technically alone. They are the only two people on the platform, but, still... He probably wouldn’t have noticed her; he hadn’t even looked up or glanced at her from the moment she had sat down beside him. Aside from her dad, her teachers, and a few friends, she’s never really studied a “real” man in such close proximity. And definitely not someone who she is sure had been transported from a Jane Austen movie (really, English Literature occupied far too much of her mind.)

Her friends might have called him “handsome”, possibly, some of them, maybe, almost definitely. She avoided being caught prying or snooping around or even caught checking someone out (not that she did that sort of thing). But something about the man beside her had her enthralled, she wanted to investigate further, see more than his profile. His eyebrows were very distinctive, giving real character to his face and what she could see of his eyes appeared to be a beautiful shade of greenish-blue, perhaps with a hint of amber as the sun caught them, fading to grey as the sun disappeared behind another cloud. Trying to be unobtrusive, she looked closer, holding a book open on her knee as cover. His eyes were red rimmed, had he been crying? Did he have allergies? His face had just the hint of stubble and she wondered how that would feel under her hand. 

She felt he projected an aura of sadness (this could be pure fancy, but she loved to create stories for people she met a random, passengers on the bus, the old ladies in the queues at the supermarket). She wanted to changed things for him, chase the sadness away, make him happy. She didn’t know why, it was patently ridiculous, he was just a stranger, waiting for a train.  
…  
“Hello…” he says, and her eyes flew wide. Had he seen her staring, or had he just looked up. She wasn’t really expecting him to say anything…

She could feel her heart suddenly thrumming inside her chest at the sound of his voice. It was a little hoarse, resonant, husky and low. He stumbled over his words, almost as if he hadn’t spoken for some time. His voice was hesitant, questioning, even over something as simple as “hello”. . A thick Scottish brogue an accent she finds…beautiful.

 

“Hello” she says back with a little smile on her face. She looks around the almost empty platform, the sun creating hazy hues of oranges and red as the sun sets, it was beautiful. Her smile broadening she asks him; “Are you waiting for the train too?”

Finally, he looked up and turned to face her, “Yes…” he says in a voice so low, just above a whisper, she has to lean in to hear him. He doesn’t smile. As soon as she had looked up, he looked away again, hanging his head, his shoulders slumped, like the weight of the world was resting upon his shoulders.

“Are London trains the only ones that stop here? Do you think I could get one that will take me to Blackpool directly?” she tried to ask him again. She had tried at the booking office, but the advice they had given her was impenetrable. He glanced at her again, and sighed “I don’t know, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, OK…” she nods, and turns away.  
A moment later, she turned to him again, “Do you have the time?” she asked, hoping that she’s not annoying him. Her attempt at conversation was transparent at worst, weak at best.

She watched him, he bit his lip and pushed up his sleeve; “Ten to Seven” he said in a low burr.   
Her heart started pounding in her chest again, trying to remember the time instead of his voice.  
“Thanks…” she says, smiling warmly to the man beside her.

She leans back on the wooden bench and let the silence hang over them. She could tell that something was on his mind, but he’s trying to shake them away. If only she could ask him without making her sound annoying, worse yet, nosey.   
He shifted beside her on the wooden bench and turned to face her. “On your way to London?” he asks her.

She blinks once before answering; “Blackpool really, to see my Gran. But if they don’t have trains to Blackpool, I guess I have to stop by London first…” she offered him another smile, coaxing him, encouraging him.

“I see…” he says, finally a small if sad smile on his face.

“Going somewhere nice?” she asked and he turns his eyes on her again (she deliberated their colour again, and still she couldn’t quite decide).  
“You like to ask questions, don’t you?” he muses. She shrugs and offers an apologetic smile “Sorry…” (oops, spotted.)

The man just smiles a little bit more warmly and that makes his sad eyes twinkle a little, he draws in a breath, patience lingering in his voice.  
“Nowhere in particular really…”

“Oh…so work? Or you just decided to leave this picturesque town and brave London’s hustle and bustle, yea?”

He shrugged and sighed.   
“Nothing keeping me here…” he said, as he looked away into the distance, his voice thickened with emotion.   
Changing the topic he asked her.  
“You from Blackpool?”   
“Yep.” She says in a cheery tone; “everything got a bit much, a bit overwhelming, so I left. I go back every once in a while to visit Gran tho…” she says offering him another smile, which he returns a bit.

Soon enough the train arrived, a few passengers alighted, and they got on. She selected a seat near the window close to he door she came in and sat down with a smile on her face.   
“Hey…” her mystery man said “The conductor said you’ll have to change when we get to London. There will be one arriving after five minutes to take you there…will you be okay with that?”

Five minutes to change trains in London, pretty much impossible, but it was thoughtful of him to have asked for her. She opened and closed her mouth, she wanted to retort that she wasn’t a little girl anymore and could very well take care of herself. But she can’t be too sure if he was just teasing her, or just being a gentleman; she chose the latter.   
“Yeah, thanks…” she smiles “Oh, and good luck to wherever you’re headed for…” she offered.  
He gave a curt nod and walked off down the train.   
Just as he was passing she stood up and called out;   
“Hey!” she blurted out, making him turn; “I never got your name…”

He licked his bottom lip, as if contemplating whether to tell her. Finally he took a breath and she watched his tired but beautiful eyes;   
“Laurence…” he offered walking away but quickly turning back “Laurence Barker.”   
She smiled at him and shook her head “Clara! Clara Oswald…Nice to meet you.”


	2. "Start of Something New"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so! Laurence moves to London and finds a job...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my thanks again to travellinghopefully for the help :D thank you!!

CHAPTER 2: “Start of Something New”  
After a few hours on the train, Laurence found himself at the London Station with nowhere to go. A few hundred quid close to a grand or two won’t get him far. He needed to find a place to stay for the time being and possibly even a job that will live him off to pay a few meager bills, after all he was…alone.

 

“Alone” that word had never been a sore spot, now though; it seems that it is then. It suddenly reminded him of what he had lost. Laurence never really wanted much in life; call him naïve but he was perfectly happy before, now it seems that it had been lifetimes away. He had none but two great loves in life, two things, and that was it. He loved music and his wife Ellen.

 

However, he wasn’t one of life’s natural winners, but that didn’t stop him, it only made him crave for more, it drove him to want for more. 

 

The first time he had felt the world crash upon him was when he discovered that his wife was having an affair with one of the church’s choir member, Connor. And as if that wasn’t enough, he had lost his dream job to one of his arch rivals, Francis Crawford.

 

Determined to reclaim what he had lost, he became driven to win the Midsomer Choir Competition, but alas, what was left of his heart was shattered when he realized that he had already lost Ellen. Afraid to see the possibility of even further failure he fled town. And now here he was, alone but hoping to start anew.

 

He had found a hotel near the station and decided to crash for the night. Tomorrow, he’d roam around London and check the papers for a job.

Early the next day, he went out of the hotel and to the nearest café for some breakfast. Sitting down he started scouring the papers for a job; an ad in the lower section caught his eye, and he carefully ran through the words…

 

“Wanted: Church Organist and or Conductor for the local church”

 

He quickly finished his coffee, paid for it and left the café and asked directions to the church.  
Upon arriving, he went inside the church and was greeted by the church’s Rector.   
“Good morning Father…” he said curtly   
“Good morning, what can I do for you today, my son?” the local priest asked in kind  
Quickly Laurence fumbled with the papers in his hand, and showed him the ad he had found earlier. “I saw your ad for a church organist or a conductor; I came to ask if the position is still vacant…”

 

The priest smiled and clasped his hand; “Bless your soul young man! That ad has been in the paper for months but no one has come to take the place. Which one are you willing to take on?” he asked with a beaming smile on his face.

 

Laurence returned the sentiment and folded the paper, “I can do both if you wish…I can play for the church and conduct the acapella music as well for the choir.”

 

The priest was overjoyed to hear that Laurence was more than eager to take on any of the vacated position. “Well then, I guess it is time for me to take down the ad…” Laurence smiled and thanked the man “Thank you. I wouldn’t disappoint…” the older man clapped him on his back “I’m sure you won’t. Which reminds me, I haven’t got your name…” he said with a tilt of the head.

 

Laurence smiled “Laurence, Laurence Barker.” The priest nodded “I am Father Smith… it is very nice to meet you Laurence.”

 

Together they walked towards the side wing of the church where the organ was “I would like you to start on Sunday it is manageable, I can see you’re not from around here are you my boy?” he asked and Laurence shook his head; “No, I just got in town last night, I came from Causton Midsomer.”

 

“I see…well, is it alright if you start on Sunday?” Father Smith asked “Yes, that would be fine…” Laurence said in response. “The pay isn’t all that big, but enough for a man to live off with, are you alright with that?” Laurence nodded “The pay is of no matter…” he stopped short thinking if he should continue. He licked his lips and carried on speaking; looking at the older man with a sad smile “I live on my own…”

 

Father Smith stopped short in response; “forgive me, I thought you were a married man…” he said pointing to his finger. Laurence looked down and posted a sad smile “I was…” he said just above a whisper. 

 

Father Smith nodded knowingly and was quick enough to change the topic, “Laurence, if ever you are interested, I have heard that The Coal Hill School is looking for a new music teacher, you wouldn’t have happen to be interested are you?” he said with a smile which Laurence returned in kind. Father Smith took that as a response and held him by the arm “C’mon then, I know a friend who could pull some strings for you…”

 

Together they both walked to Coal Hill School. They were greeted by the school care taker, John. “Good morning Father Smith…” he greeted with a kind smile on his face, tipping his hat and nodding. The local priest returned the kind greeting “Good morning, John.” He said as he walked pass him and carried on inside the building.

 

True to his word, Father Smith had managed to secure the job for Laurence. The principal was fairly impressed with his CV, and since they needed an urgent replacement for their music teacher, he had weighed his options and decided to hire Laurence as the new replacement.

 

“Mr. Barker, I would like for you to start next week Monday, if that’s alright. We usually have our Music classes and band practices on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s, is that acceptable enough or do you still need more time to settle down?” the principal asked in thoughtful enough. 

 

“That would be fine enough, I’m sure I’ll manage; I can look for a flat during the weekend, if it’s all the same to you.” He said with a curt and thankful nod.

 

“Welcome to the Coal Hill Faculty then, Mr. Barker.” Laurence shook his hand with a smile and Father Smith clapped his hands; “Well then, now that’s all settled I should be going back to the church; and Laurence, thank you for being the new organist as well. Laurence beamed and said “I should be the one thanking you, Father Smith. Thank you.” He said genuinely thankful

 

“I’ll introduce you to your fellow teachers and the students early Monday morning.” Laurence nodded, “Thank you” he said and left with Father Smith. 

 

On their way out, Laurence couldn’t help but thank his lucky stars; so far, he was having much fairer luck down London. Maybe this was really indeed the start of something new.

 

Before he left the church, he decided to have a look on the pieces that were to be used on Sunday’s Mass. He arranged them and marked the ones he would be using. Father Smith had said that he will have the chance to meet the choir this upcoming Saturday for the anticipated mass at 6 in the evening; between two new jobs and looking for a flat, he was beginning to feel a little lighter.

 

He placed his nimble fingers on the keys and started to play a very familiar tune. His fingers started to glide across the keys and a very familiar tune took place that held a special place in his heart.

 

“Standing here outside your door  
Not sure if you’re home.  
Wondering if I’m a fool  
Maybe I should go…  
Usually, I’m fearless  
But I’ve become undone  
A clown without even disguise  
Now everyone will know that I’m…  
Falling, falling in love  
Falling in love and I can’t make sense of it.

Don’t know how this happened  
I can’t say for sure  
But suddenly I’m incomplete  
Sustaining on the hope

If you meet me face to face  
If you can hear my heart  
You might feel this terrifying  
Something rising up and you’ve…

Fallen, fallen, you’ve fallen in love  
And you can’t make sense of it…”

Laurence sighed and shook his head, there’s not enough time on his hands to dwell on the past; his future is starting to brighten up and he’s decided that there was just no sense in wallowing, he is moving forward…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is Keri Noble's falling... a great song played on piano, a bit melancholic but lovely nonetheless :D


	3. CHAPTER 3: "Poison And Wine"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurence's first day... week at work... familiar faces comes to life, and a lot of fluff... cute fluff..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a while because my finals exam took place this week... i hope that my grades are acceptable enough haha.. im really hoping for good grades this sem :D treat it as you will as a gift to my parents :D
> 
> anyway!!  
> a bit of a song fic and  
> "song legend"  
> +Laurence  
> *Clara  
> #Both

Chapter 3: “Poison and Wine”

Monday morning came bright and early and Laurence got up for his first day at work. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and made a bee line towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came out of the bathroom bathed and shaved and stood in front of his closet picking which set to wear.

He decided to wear a pair of plum colored dress shirt and a pair of black slacks to go with. He finished it off with a black magician’s coat with red lining. He decided that his black Doc Martens goes well with the whole ensemble. Looking at the clock, he made his way down the hotel, grabbed a quick cup of coffee and off to the school he went.

Reaching the school grounds he made his way to the head teacher’s office. He knocked softly on the maple door and turned the handle when he heard a soft “come in” from the other side. He poked his head from behind the door and smiled softly “Good morning…” he greeted the head teacher. The other man smiled and gestured for him to come through, “good morning Mr. Barker, I hope you’re ready to meet your fellow teachers as well as the students.” He said with a kind smile on his face. Laurence returned the gesture and nodded “I’d be more than glad to.”

Mr. Ramsay, the head teacher had already called the faculty to gather so that they could meet the new teacher. He ushered Laurence to the teacher’s lounge so that he could meet them.  
“Good morning all!” Mr. Ramsay greeted them, as they looked, and stood up from what they were doing. “Today, you’ll be meeting the new music teacher…” he continued; all eyes were focused on the door, as he made his first appearance. Laurence scoured the new faces and found a familiar one, their eyes met and he smiled at her before looking away “I’m Laurence Barker, Music Teacher.” 

Danny Pink was the first one to reach out his hand, “Danny Pink, Math Teacher. Welcome to Coal Hill School, Mr. Barker.” Laurence eyed him and stretched out his hand, “Thank you, Mr. Pink.” He said with a curt nod, before grazing his eyes over to the pair of brown ones that was looking at him with a smile on her beautiful face. 

“It’s VERY nice to meet you, Mr. Barker.” Clara said as she walked towards him, outstretching her hand which Laurence took immediately, as his lips curled into a smile. “Likewise, Miss?” he said, playing a bit coy making Clara snicker a bit, “Clara, Clara Oswald, English Teacher.” Laurence smiled even more, “Miss Oswald it is then, and charmed, I’m sure.”

Danny looked up at the clock as he excused himself; “If you two will excuse me, I have a class for the first period…Clara.” He nodded and then turned to him, “Mr. Barker…” but Laurence cut him short; “Laurence, seeing as that we work together now.” He said to the younger man. Danny smiled and clapped his shoulder, “Laurence it is then, I’ll see you around…” Laurence returned the gesture “I guess so.”  
As soon as Danny left, Clara took the opportunity to finally have a quick talk with her “Mystery guy from the train station”. “So I see you’ve made your way to Shoreditch, haven’t you now?”  
Laurence shrugged his shoulders and put his hands inside his pocket, “so it seems…” he said nonchalantly. Clara raised an eyebrow at him before giving him a small smirk “Well, I’m glad…” she said crossing her arms over her chest in a playful manner. “And I’m glad you’ve found yourself a job as well…” she looked around, and seeing as that there was no one around, “I’m also glad that I’ve get to see you again…” she said walking away from him. “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Barker…” she said making her way to the door. “Laurence.” He called out to her, making her turn. Laurence lifted his chin and straightened his back, “Just call me Laurence…Ms. Oswald.” He said giving her a small sly smile. Clara nodded and leaned against the door jamb “Laurence it is, but it’s only fair if you called me Clara.” Laurence chuckled a little and nodded “Clara.” He said with a thoughtful look on his face. “It’s very nice to see you again as well, Clara.”

Clara found herself beaming at him, loving the way he says her name. It was as if he was rolling the letter “R” in his mouth with this thick brogue accent. “Well, I’ll see you for lunch, yea?” She had already asked before he even knew what she did. Laurence chuckled and walked to where she was “I’ll see what I can do, but thanks for the offer.” He said slightly looking down at her. 

She peered into his face as he looked down on her. She still couldn’t make up her mind about what color his eyes were. Instead she smiled and walked away “I’ll hold you to that…” she said walking away from him and entering her classroom door, ready to start the day away, with one thought lingering in her mind… Laurence Barker.

Laurence made his way to the music room and waited for his first class to arrive. In between having them do seat work, his mind wandered to one very woman he had met twice and had already manage to make an imprint on him, one certain Clara Oswald.  
Laurence pondered a bit more to the nagging thought, more so than he would’ve have liked. Clara Oswald was young and beautiful. She had the most beautiful pair of brown eyes he had ever seen, a cute little button nose, and dimpled cheek. She was indeed a sight for sore eyes. He shook himself away from the thoughts, still too afraid of what might happen.  
Just before her class ended, she made her way to the music room where Laurence was currently holding classes. She saw bright smiles from both the older man and the students, apparently he was teaching them a new song, and judging by the tuning fork in hand, he also taught them how to use it. Clara smiled at the scene before her and reminisce the early scenes as well. It was actually nice to see him smiling. Her memory took her back to when she first saw him, all glum and down; but seeing him now, she couldn’t help but smile.  
She was shaken from her thoughts when the bell rang, telling her that its lunch hour. She watched Laurence as he dismissed his students. “Hello, miss…” one of them said and she smiled at the young boy “hello, Ralph…” she said as she entered the room; “Hi!” she greeted, he looked up from erasing the writings on the board and smiled “Hi!” he said cheerfully greeting her.

She perched herself atop one of the desks and asked “how was your first class?” Laurence turned around and placed the eraser inside his drawer, “Oh they were lovely. I have gathered that a lot of them are part of the school band, and the choir; I can’t wait to meet them afterwards…” he said with a genuine smile on his face, which Clara returned. She hopped off the desk as he just sat down; “So, Lunch then?” she said tilting her head to the side making Laurence chuckle. “You’re really holding to it, aren’t you lassie?” he asked and Clara chuckled a bit. “I told you, I’d hold you to it, didn’t I?”  
Laurence shook his head and stood up laughing a little. “And that you did lassie. That you did.” He made his way to the door and opened it; “lead the way?” he gestured and Clara nodded almost a little eager. “Pleasure is all mine!”

Together, the two of them made their way to the cafeteria. They fell in line to get their food, but she noticed that Laurence went straight to the dairy section instead. She watched him grabbed a cup of yoghurt, a spoon and a can of Fanta. He made his way back to her, and said “I’ll grab us a table yea?” he said and before she could even manage to answer let alone anything else, Laurence was already walking away with nothing but yoghurt and water on his tray.

Clara made her way through the queue, and got herself some Chicken sandwich, some crisps, and a can of coke. She also got a cup of yoghurt and some cheesecake as well. She made her way to their table and sat across him. He was waiting patiently for her, and as soon as she got back, he opened his yoghurt, plunged his spoon, and a big dollop of the soft served cream.

“Is that all you’re having?” Clara said as she swallowed her first bite of her sandwich. Laurence nodded and ate another spoonful. “I don’t really eat much you see. Sometimes, I just tend not to especially when I’m working on some piece…”  
Clara shook her head and stood up, glad that there wasn’t any more line on the cue. She got him some grilled cheese and a side of crisps before returning to the table. She sat the food in front of him, and he raised a bushy brow at her. “You’re going to eat this, no wonder you’re so thin. Now, eat this and do as you’re told.”  
For some unknown reason, Laurence found that he didn’t mind being bossed around by Clara. He gave her a small grateful smile before tucking in into his food. Clara watched him and smiled a little if a bit smug and said “from now on, you’re going to eat lunch with me, you’re going to eat a bit more properly, and you’ll do as you’re told…” Laurence nodded as he took another bite of the sandwich. “Yes, Ma’am.” He said with a smile. “Did you even have breakfast this morning?” she asked him, and he shook his head “just coffee…”  
Clara frowned, no wonder he was so thin, he didn’t really eat much. “Well from now on, you’re going to learn to eat lunch, to get you at least the rest of the day if you don’t eat breakfast. I mean, look at you, you’re all skin and bones.”  
Laurence chucked a bit, “Don’t fret too much lassie, I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself…” Just as Laurence was reaching for his drink, Clara took his hand in her; “You’re rubbish at it too. From now on you and I will be lunch buddies…” Laurence smiled and looked at their hands and sighed “You’re the boss…”

The rest of his week went fairly well; classes were fine, as were the kids. But the hi-light of his day is having lunch with Clara. Quickly they fell into a routine of sharing lunch; they shared a few jokes and laughs during the lunch hour. Slowly he learned to eat more than he knew how to.  
It was after school hours when Clara heard someone playing inside the band room; at first it was soft, but as she got closer the music became clearer. She found him sitting in front of the piano, letting his fingers glide across the keyboard. Slowly she made her presence known as to not startle him.  
Laurence looked up and greeted “Hi! Clara…” he said standing up, “what are you still doing here?” he asked her. Clara watched as he stood up and took half the seat he vacated; “I could ask you the same…” she said letting her fingers touch the keys but not making a sound. “I-I was just tinkering with the piano, it was a little out of tune, so I tuned it and changed two of the strings with the ones I’ve found…” he said.  
Gingerly he sat beside her, careful not to invade her personal space; “Play for me…” she said with a kind smile on her face. He furrowed his brows and looked at her “What will I play?” he asked and she shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, anything really…” slowly, he nodded and licked his bottom lip before letting his hand glide across the keys. Slowly, he started to play a song that now held a special place in his heart.  
He started playing and turned to smile at her, “it’s a duet, I hope you don’t mind…” she smiled at him and shook her head “Not at all…” he played a few chords before quietly letting his voice resonate inside the empty room.

+“You only know, what I want you to…” he started to sing  
*“I know everything; you don’t want me to…”  
She responded in kind, trying not to shiver at the sound of his voice.  
+Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine.  
*You think your dreams are the same as mine…  
#Ooh…  
I don’t love you but I always will  
Ooh, I don’t love you, but I always will  
I don’t love you, but I always will  
I always will…  
*I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back  
+The less I give, the more I get back  
*Ooh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise  
#Ooh…  
+I don’t have a choice but I still choose you  
*Ooh…  
#Ohh…  
+Ooh…  
#I don’t love you but I always will  
Ooh, I don’t love you, but I always will  
I don’t love you, but I always will  
#Ooh…  
I don’t love you but I always will  
Ooh, I don’t love you, but I always will  
I don’t love you, but I always will  
#Ooh…  
I don’t love you but I always will  
Ooh, I don’t love you, but I always will  
I don’t love you, but I always will  
I always will…  
I always will…  
“That was beautiful…” she said and he smiled. She couldn’t help but notice how the air suddenly changed. Somehow, it felt a bit melancholy and she couldn’t quite put her finger as to why. “It’s getting late, we should head on home…” he said.  
They walked down the hall together and to the courtyard where Clara’s bike was parked. “Thanks for doing a duet with me…” he said as he watched her put on her helmet. Clara smiled and looked up at him, “thank you for letting me as well…” before she could think about what she was doing, she stood on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, Laurence, and thank you.”  
Laurence was awestruck. He didn’t have the chance to respond and just watched her sped away. He felt his heart hammering inside his chest. Slowly he was broken out of his reverie and he smiled as he made his way back to his hotel. Maybe this… whatever it was, isn’t all that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is by The Civil Wars called Poison and Wine. if im going to get lucky and score a few more songs for this i will be putting up a playlist on a spotify account for this series... i've already 2 for whouffaldi, so i'll give this one too if i could get more songs... 
> 
> oh and just like always a shoutout to travellinghopefully .. you've been so kind, thanks so much
> 
> and to you guys as well for bearing with me and actually taking time to read this, thanks so much :D warms my heart more than you could possibly know of <3  
> (yes, i am a big softie)


	4. "Unpack Your Heart"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FEELINGS...FEELINGS...FEELINGS. share your silence and unpack your heart <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been so long... school was hectic but it's over now... its vacation time, well school starts again soon, but!! yeah... vacation for now...

CHAPTER 4: “Unpack Your Heart”  
That Sunday, Laurence got up early to go to church. Even though already had a swell job teaching for the Coal Hill School, he didn’t let Father Smith down and still stayed at his post as the church’s organist and conductor. He felt that he owed him that much, and besides it is what he loved after all.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned ready to face another day with a lighter heart. He was finally doing what he loved most with less pressure resting on his shoulders, but sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder “what could have been”.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he got up and went to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day. Standing under the shower spray, he couldn’t help but to look back on this past week. He’s really starting to enjoy Clara’s company. Looking back made him smile, especially when he thought about that Friday night when Clara kissed his cheek. Sure it was a common way to say “hello” and “goodbye” but at that moment, he felt the world going still, as if time had slowed down. He can still feel his heart beating wildly, and all the blood rushing through his veins. He shook his head and cleared his mind finally deciding to turn the shower off and drying himself.

He donned on a pair of black khakis, a long sleeved turtle neck shirt, and his ever trusty pair of Doc Martens before grabbing his sheet music and running out the door.

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo  
Clara made sure that she went to church this Sunday even though she already attended last night’s anticipated mass. She did this every year on her mother’s birthday, no matter what day the date fell she made sure she attended mass and lit up a candle for her, it was the least that she could do, or so she thinks.

It was still early so there were still few people inside. Clara made her way near the left wing closer to the choir’s bleachers. She was surprised to see a tall man wearing a pair long sleeved turtle neck and black khakis who sat in front of the church organ. At first she doubted herself, thinking that it wasn’t him, but it seemed to be that fate was on her side and the man turned around when he picked up a piece of sheet music that fell on the floor and confirmed her suspicion. Her lips curled up into a smile as their eyes locked, their gazes landing on each other.

Laurence gave her a small smile and she waved a little at him, making him smile more. it looked as if he was about to say something, but then the bell rang as a sign that the mass was to begin, and Laurence abruptly turned around and started playing.

Clara watched him most of the time. She saw him practicing silently while Father Smith was delivering his homily. She was in awe of how much passion Laurence has put into music, to him it was more than a job, and to him it was life. She can feel his passion pouring out of him every time his fingers glided through the keys making the most angelic sounds she has ever made. His face was just as expressive as his fingers, she watched him sing through the pieces dictating his choir when to hit the high notes and then lower them down to a hypnotic hum over the lower tunes to let the baritone voices resonate creating melodies over the harmonics. It was beautiful.

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo  
Clara decided she’d go after Laurence, as soon as he’s finish. She sat quietly in one of the pews behind before making a move and walking towards where he was. She gently placed a hand over his shoulder and greeted him; “Hey!” she said making him turn around. Clara could see the surprised owl look on his face before immediately recovering and plastering on a smile “Hi!” he said in return “what are you still doing here?” he said as he continued to fix the used sheet music and keeping them inside the piano bench’s compartment.

 

Clara shrugged and leaned on the piano “I didn’t know you were the new church organist. All I keep hearing was that He was tall, Scottish, and from out of town…” she said nonchalantly with a smile. Laurence shook his head and laughed a bit; “well, that’s me…” he said sitting down on the bench and looking up at her. “I saw the ad on the paper, day after I came here.” He smiled and clasped his hands between his knees and continued “luckily, when I came here the post was still open, so I took Father Smith’s offer. He was also the one who cued on the teaching job at the school.” Clara smiled and crossed her arms across her chest. “Well, Father Smith has always been kind to everybody. The people love him; he’s very kind at heart, and very compassionate.”

Laurence knew he wasn’t getting out easily, but he thinks he wouldn’t have it any other way. So he dove in head first and asked “so, do you have anything planned today?” he asked her as he stood up. Clara smiled brightly and shook her head “nothing yet, do you?” she said with a bit of a challenge. Laurence smiled a bit wider and bit his lower lip; “Nope, I’m afraid there’s nothing on my plate today…how about lunch, if you’re up to it?”

The two of them ended up sitting inside the nearby American Diner. Clara had the Californian Burger with a side of Stuffed Potato Skins, and a can of coke, while Laurence had the Blue Bayou Burger with a side of some cheesy fries and a can of Fanta.

 

The two of them fell into an easy conversation, just like always. “Have you found a flat to rent out yet?” Clara asked him casually while taking another bite of the burger. Laurence shook his head, “I haven’t, there’s nothing open here at the moment…” Clara hummed and wiped her face “I think I know someone who could help you…if you’re up to it that is…” Laurence waggled his eyebrows as he took a drink “Sure…I think it’s better than living at the hotel. At least I know, it’s a rented flat rather than just a hotel room…” Clara nodded and said “I’ve just the place, it’s a one bedroom flat but I think you’ll manage just fine.”

 

Laurence nodded “When do you think I could set up an appointment to see the place?” he asked and Clara laughed a little. “if you have nothing better to do today, I could accompany you…” she offered with a smile. Laurence thought about it for a while not wanting to impose anything “if you’re sure?” he had asked. Clara gave him another dimpled smile and said “I would love to accompany you.” Laurence returned the sentiment and said “How could I ever thank you?” he asked her. 

 

Clara leaned her elbows on the table and said “well, a “thank you Clara” would be very nice…” Laurence laughed a bit heartily and nodded a bit “well, that’s fair enough. Thank you Clara, really.” She reached for a napkin and dabbed the corner of his mouth “You’re very welcome.”

 

Laurence eyes grew wide and his heart started besting wildly inside his chest. “Blue Cheese…” she said with a smile. He muttered small thanks still too shocked from what she did and she shrugged “you’re welcome…”

 

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo 

After a bit of an argument whether who was to pay their lunch, Laurence was happy enough that Clara let him have his way as he paid for their lunches. Arm in arm the two of them walked out of the diner and hailed a cab to go visit the flat Clara has told Laurence about.

 

Clara had already called The Ponds ahead of time so that they knew they were coming to see the flat. A few minutes later they reached the place and before Clara had yet to make a move, Laurence had already paid the cabbie “I’m paying for the next one…” she teasingly warned him, and he just shrugged it off with a smile. Together they walked towards the door and pressed the intercom “Hey, it’s Amy!” as a voice came through the line

 

“Hey Amy! Its Clara...” she said to the speaker “Oh, hi!! Hold on, let me buzz you in…” a few moments later and they were in the building. Clara held Laurence by the hand and introduced him to The Ponds. “Laurence, meet the Ponds. Rory and his wife Amy…” Laurence held out his hand to shake theirs when the young man piped up “Its Williams actually, it’s just quite of a joke when they had said Ponds…” both Clara and Amy laughed “they keep assuming that Rory was the one to take after his wife’s name… its Williams really, but around here, they’re well known to be The Ponds.”

 

“So about that flat…” Rory said ushering Laurence and Clara out of their own home and down the hall to the empty flat that Rory used to own before he moved in with Amy when they got married. When the two of them got there, Rory was already explaining to Laurence about the layout

 

“This is just a one bedroom flat, I hope you don’t mind. It’s not that small, but it’s not a hole in the wall either. This is the living room, down the hall is room and across it is the bath.” He said pointing at the small corridor ahead “There’s the balcony over there, and the kitchen is through here.” He said leading Laurence towards the kitchen.

 

“This is a very friendly neighborhood, you don’t have to worry about being picked on or mugged even at night…” Amy said as she watched Laurence eye the flat. Laurence nodded and smiled “if it’s all the same to you, it’s a very lovely place… I’d like to take it, if there’s no one else eyeing it…”

 

“A month now, and a month’s deposit that’s all you need…” Rory said while dangling the key “we can help you move in if you want…” Amy offered. Laurence took the key in hand and said “Payday is not till the next week, but I’ve a bit of money summed up, I can pay for the pay this month…” but before he could continue Amy had already cut him off “Oh it’s alright, you can pay the month’s deposit next week. This month’s pay will be enough. It’s the least we could do for you.” She said with a smile “Any friend of Clara is a friend of ours…” Rory continued. Laurence smiled gratefully, and looked over at Clara with a boyish gleam in his eyes, thanking her. “Thank you very much. One more thing though, I don’t really have anything, just a few luggage of clothes, a guitar, and a keyboard… I was wondering if I could move in today…” his tone was hopeful and a bit shy “I could help you move in if you want…” Rory offered “the offer still stands you know.” Laurence smiled but shook his head; “no, it’s alright… I think I can manage, and besides letting me move in immediately, letting me pay just this month’s lease is enough for me…”

 

“I’ll help him…” Clara piped up before he could finish his sentence. He was about to retort but Clara was faster “it’s alright, do as you’re told remember?” and immediately, closed his mouth making the other two smile.

 

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo  
After the deal was made, Laurence hailed a cab for them and went to the hotel he was currently staying at. “you don’t have to help me you know… I’m a big boy, I can do this…” he said as he looked at the woman beside him. “I know you are, and I know, I don’t have to…but I want to.” Clara said as she gave him another of those beautiful smiles and tapped his knee.

 

Laurence took a moment to savor the affection. The smiles, the small touches it keeps making his heart race. How can this woman make his heart go wild, he never knew…  
Reaching the hotel Clara just made it in time to pay the Cabbie; “I told you I’ll get the next one…” she said with a smug smile which he returned in a kinder hush “so you did…” 

 

Exiting the cab, he waited for her and opened the door for her. Laurence greeted the concierge and told him that he was to check out today. After completing the process, they made their way to the elevator and down to the floor where he was staying. He fumbled his wallet for the card and held the door open for her.

 

“I’ll just be a few minutes…” he said with a smile on his face “it’s alright, take your time…” she said and assuming her position on the middle of his bed. Laurence just shook his head and draw the suitcase from the top of the armoir and placed it on the bed. Clara watched him methodically taking his clothes off the hanger and folding them neatly and into the suitcase. When she decided to help him fold his clothes, their fingers brushed for a few short seconds as their eyes locked with each other. Laurence brushed it off and let her have that piece before getting another shirt. “I’m really thankful for you helping me with this… I don’t quite know what to say…” he said trying to break the spell that fell upon them. Clara shrugged her shoulders and just replied “it’s what friends do, don’t they? They always help the ones that are in need…even in the little things. Most especially with the little things…”

 

A few hours later and they have finally manage to move in. Laurence easily got things settled inside his room and wanted to do something for these people. Quickly he had called the nearest Thai restaurant and ordered food that was enough to feed a whole army; together the four of them seated themselves around the kitchen table and shared Thai food and ice cold beer. “It’s the least that I could do…” Laurence had told them so. So there they were seated together like old friends catching up exchanging stories and laughing heartily. All throughout dinner, Laurence couldn’t help but to steal a few glances at the amazing beautiful brunette beside him, and feeling time slowing down while his heart raced inside his chest.

 

After dinner, Laurence insisted that he took Clara home, and he was glad that she had let him. When they reached her doorstep it was almost late at night. Laurence looked around and gathered enough courage to lead her to the doorstep. “Thank you…” he had simply said and she furrowed he brows crossing her arms on her chest “what for?” she had asked with a small smile on her face, which he returned in kind. “For today…” he said before continuing and tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “For everything you did today. For having lunch with me, helping me find a flat, moving in, introducing me to The Ponds, having dinner with me… and…taking you home.” He said as he smiled shyly at her.

 

Clara smiled and once again manages to take him by surprise. Clara reached up on her tippy toes and placed a not so chased kiss on his cheek. “You’re welcome…” was all she said before jamming the key and opening the door “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Lunch as always…” Laurence took a moment before composing himself and managing an answer… “Yeah…” he said almost breathlessly. Clara giggled and kissed his cheek again “goodnight…” she said before entering inside. Laurence smiled and said “goodnight…” 

 

Laurence bit his lower lip as he smiled and watched her close the door before going down the steps and hailing a taxi back to his new flat with a song in his heart…

 

“Meet me where the sunlight ends  
Meet me where the truth never bends  
Bring all that you're scared to defend

And lay it down when you walk through my door  
Throw all of it out on the floor  
Your sorrow, your beauty, your war  
I want it all, I want it all

Bring your secrets, bring your scars  
Bring your glory, all you are  
Bring your daylight, bring your dark  
Share your silence  
And unpack your heart

Show me something the rest never see  
Give me all that you hope to receive  
Your deepest regret dies with me

The days when you stumble and fall  
The days when you grind to a crawl  
The treasure that hides behind your walls  
I want it all, yeah I want it all

Bring your secrets, bring your scars  
Bring your glory, all you are  
Bring your daylight, bring your dark  
Share your silence  
And unpack your heart  
Unpack your heart

Oh, I'm on your side  
So shed your shadow  
And watch it rise

Oh, I'm on your side  
So shed your shadow  
And watch it rise  
Into your darkness  
I'll shine a light

Bring your secrets, bring your scars  
Bring your glory, all you are  
Bring your daylight, bring your dark  
Share your silence

Bring your honor, bring your shame  
All your madness, I will tame  
Won't you lay down, down your guard  
Share your silence  
And unpack your heart”

 

He spent the whole car ride, and time puttering inside his new flat before canoodling with his guitar singing the same song that is resonating inside his veins before falling into bed with a message loud and clear. Its about time he unpacked his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song is by Phillip Phillips called Unpack Your Heart


	5. Leave Your Lover Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uuuhh... angst, broken hearts.. misunderstanding.. that sort...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two parts! i i wrote it down and it was longer than i thought it would be... so yeah

Chapter 5: “Leave Your Lover (Part 1)”

Things had been going swimmingly for Laurence, he finally procured a flat, had a very stable job, new friends, and a “love interest…”  
After the past few weeks of spending time with Clara, Laurence finally admitted to himself that he has fallen for her. Hard. He tries to distract himself but finding it very hard not to think of her. It seems to him that whenever his mind is pre-occupied, thoughts of Clara worm their way into his head.

After moving out of Midsomer, Laurence never thought he’d feel this way again. For so long he was so hung up with the fact that he and Ellen could still bring back what they used to have. He loved her so, and that much is true, and hearing her say that she didn’t love him was like a rusty knife to the heart.

He never thought he’d ever really know what love was after that whole charade. He doubted himself that somebody could ever really love him. He willed himself not to fall for her, or so he kept telling himself. He kept repeating to himself that he didn’t have feelings for her, but who was he kidding? Even after a few meager weeks he fell for her, and he was scared…so scared.

Every time a few simple touches landed his way, he could feel his heart summersaulting inside his chest. Her laugh makes his body tingle with delight, bringing chills down his spine. Lunch time was always the high-light of his day because he can spend a few minutes in her presence. He was not a fool, at least he’s trying not to make one out of himself; but when a beautiful creature is with you, what is there left to do but stare? Surely she had noticed, but if she did, she never really said anything at all.

It had been an established routine that Clara would fetch Laurence from his classroom before they went down to the cafeteria to eat. He didn’t even tried to persuade her from skipping lunch, simply it was just like telling your mother “No” and he had learn of it the hard way.  
One day, Laurence was really behind on his lectures and needed to update his visuals and Lesson Plan before giving a copy to their head teacher. He planned to skip lunch to make-do with the requirements that needs to be dealt with. He had rehearsed his line in his head, going over his lines before Clara comes inside his classroom.  
Just as he was finishing running over the lines, Clara came inside like a breath of fresh air.

“Hey! C’mon, I heard they’re making Sloppy Joes…ever had any of them?” She asked him while she made her way inside the classroom.   
Laurence, stood up slowly and dropped his pen, he tried his best to reason out that he still had to update his lesson plans and that he had to skip lunch. Clara said nothing, but instead turned around and walked out of the classroom and a shake of the head, and the eye roll.  
Laurence thought for sure that he was toast. He was trying to figure out what to say, or how to apologize. He thought of flowers maybe with a note, a box of chocolate? He didn’t know.   
What he wasn’t expecting was for her to come back to his classroom, bearing food. In her hand she had two sloppy joes and two bags of crisps, a cup of yoghurt, a can of Fanta and a can of Coke.  
Laying down the food on his desk, dissecting whose food is whose. She said nothing, but instead pulled a chair near to him, and ate her lunch.  
“Late lesson plans, is not or NEVER a reason for you to skip lunch.” She said in her sternest teacher’s voice. “Eat your lunch, and finish your lesson plans…” Laurence couldn’t do anything but stare at her. “Go on, and do as you’re told.” She said with a little smug smile on her face. Laurence returned the smile and with a fondness in his heart he said “Yes boss…” which earned him a bigger smile from that beautiful brunette. How she managed to worm his way into his heart, and to put up with her bossiness, he’ll never know. But somehow, he found her bossing around slightly…comforting.

Clara had been running around the school all day and when the lunch came she was dead tired. She caught a few glimpses of Laurence teaching inside the music room. She never knew Laurence was very good with children. He made them laugh and learn at the same time, he was dead talented too. The head teacher considers him as a gem! When she finally had the time she went to look for him. She was surprised she didn’t find him anywhere around the school. Strange, she thought. She looked at her watch and saw that it was almost lunch hour and realized she’d have to worry about it later.  
Two of his earlier classes were cancelled; the head teacher told him that the youngsters had to practice for their Fist Holy Communion. He saw that it was nearing lunch time so he decided to go to the diner just two blocks away and buy himself and Clara some much need lunch, just to break the monotony of things. After all the aggravation from the new found feelings he had found, he was nervous as hell about what he was feeling for Clara, he needed to clear his mind a bit.  
Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo  
Danny Pink always had his eye set on Clara Oswald. He always thought that she was such a sweet and wonderful young woman. She was very kind at heart and very compassionate. He tried his best to befriend her and was glad that his efforts had paid off. A few months ago he had started to court her. She didn’t reject him, but he wasn’t making much progress either. Clara knows how he feels about her, he had suddenly blurted it out one day and there it was out in the open. It was awkward for a few days, but after the tension had subsided, Clara was still the sweet young woman he fell in love with.

When the lunch hour came, she was very glad it was there. It only meant that she could spend some time with Laurence. If she was being honest with herself, she’d say that she had her eye on him. He was quiet, and a bit shy. But under that wallflower overcoat, underneath he was a ball to be with. He knew just how to make her laugh even if his jokes were a bit corny. He’s always the perfect gentleman and just over all a very nice person. And after that one whole Sunday he had spent with him, she knew she wanted to know more about him.  
Just as she was making her way to meet Laurence, she got stopped by Danny who was jamming her door, preventing her to get out.

Danny said, “Hey, Clara? Are you doing anything this weekend? We could maybe go out, have lunch or do something?”  
Clara smiled and replied “I’m sorry, Danny. I do very much appreciate the offer but I have other plans this weekend…”

Danny asked in return “its Laurence isn’t it? You’ve been spending a lot of time with him…I’m feeling a bit neglected here. I mean, I do like the man, but I think that having lunch with him every day is enough isn’t it? I just hope that he’s worth it.”

“Thank you, that means a lot…” Clara said with a smile before leaving him behind but was caught up when he held her wrist. She turned around and asked him “what do you want?”  
She asked him; “I think I deserve to ask that question don’t you think?” Danny answered. “What do you mean?” Clara asked him in return  
“Since Laurence arrived you never did spend time with me. You always go out to lunch with him, you’re always unavailable on the weekends, and I hardly even talk to you anymore. I mean, he’s old, probably twice your age, Clara he could very well be your dad. What do you see in him, that I do not have? I just want the truth.”

Clara hated it when she had to compare, no two person were ever alike, and there was no need to compare. With that question, Clara had gone mental. “You want the truth? Well the truth is I enjoy spending time with him, I believe I even may have feelings for him. When he got here, it wasn’t the first time I saw him. I first saw him when I came back from Midsomer. He was sitting on the platform, alone, and lonely. I felt bad for him, I tried talking to him but it seemed that he didn’t want to be bothered. I never thought I’d see him again, but when I did, I made sure and a point that I would know him better. And I did! And I enjoyed it, I enjoy being with him…what you and the other teachers see is so superficial about him. There is so much more beneath that man Danny, if only you knew him like I do. I like him, I don’t know…I’m not sure, but I do may very well have feelings too…”

“But I love you so much, Clara… you know I do.” He said it just above a whisper almost like a plea. At his tone and words, Clara’s heart tightened in her chest.

“You know I love you, and I’m pretty sure you like me… I think we should finally give this a try…” Since Clara didn’t say anything, Danny kissed her, and at the same moment Laurence came through the door.

Laurence’s eyes widened and Clara could swear that she saw tears in them “Oh…I’m sorry, I should go…” then he closed the door again and Clara tried to run after him but Danny held her tight and tried to kiss her again. “Danny!” she pleaded but he didn’t budge, Clara knew it was too much, but she had to.   
Danny received a resounding slap on the cheek. “Let go of me!”


	6. Leave Your Lover "Part 2"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff... hope... friendship.. dare say love??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for tuning in :D... this one is a bit longer than expected... but i hope you bear with me :D

Chapter 6: “Leave Your Lover (Part 2)”  
“Danny! Let go of me!” she yelled as she tried to pry herself away from his grasp. She ran outside the conference room and saw that Laurence had already left the Faculty room. She ran after him but he was no longer anywhere down the hall, going back she saw he had left something on her desk. She walked closer and noticed that it was take-out food from the diner two blocks away from the school, and his note on the side.  
Sorry, I thought I’d brought you lunch; I thought I owed you one.  
Clara couldn’t help the first few tears that fought their way through her lashes. He got everything wrong, now she had no idea what to do… she can’t lose him, not when she hadn’t even had him…  
Danny saw Clara sitting down behind her desk her hands cradling her head. He tried to get closer, but she had stopped him at arms-length. “I think that was enough for today…” she said, and he at that moment, he had lost her.

Laurence came back from his overly long vacant period and decided to bring in some lunch. He looked for Clara at the cafeteria but she wasn’t there. He shrugged it off and decided to go fetch her himself from her classroom. When he got there, she wasn’t there either so he went to the faculty room. Another teacher told him, that Clara was inside the conference room. He thanked her as he held the door open and the other teacher got out. Laurence saw Clara through the door, and smiled. He decided to let his presence be known, but not knowing that Danny was there too.

When he saw them kiss, he suddenly realized that this man must be more than just a friend. It really made him somewhat depressed even though he already knew that she really probably did have a boyfriend. After all, a beautiful woman like herself was in a few chances of being single really. Why would she want to do with someone like him? He was almost twice her age, screw that he IS twice her age. Who was he kidding? He really should have known better than to even think that she might be even interested in him. Sure she spends time with him, but it doesn’t mean that she’s interested in him. Maybe it was pity, he didn’t know.

He caught her looking at him and decided to get away before he even made an awful fool out of himself. He decided to get out of school and just avoid her rather than deal with her right now.

The next few days, Laurence avoided Clara because he wasn’t ready to deal with what he saw. He knew he was a foolish and lonely old man and the best that he could expect from a beautiful, young woman like Clara was just friendship and nothing more. But still, he made himself a fool for hoping that there was something else… he found himself being wrong. Dead wrong.

He was on edge the whole week. He tried not to snap at his students, because they really didn’t do anything. It was his fault for being so stupid. He missed a couple of lunches with her, not even bothering to go out of the classroom, or made a quick escape to the music room or just a walk to the church and back. He started muttering “Stupid…fool…gullible…” under his breath while he berated himself of being that stupid. Surely that one time with his wife was of shock to him, but this time…he was really trying so hard not to believe that he was that stupid to begin with.

He muttered different sort of profanities under his breath like a mantra, it was aimed at himself because he knew he was angry and he should really have known better. How stupid can he get? His mother would be rolling in her grave right now if only she knew how he turned out to be when it comes to love. He was just a gullible old fool who believed that he could be loved at any cost. He knew it would be stupid to be angry with anyone else let alone Clara so he placed a bulls eye at himself instead because he had always known he would be alone anyway but he made that same mistake all over again. Hoping that maybe he would find someone that might give him a chance.

He stayed away from her eyes sight the whole week. The music room, and the band room was where he kept himself all cooped up inside, not even bothering to eat lunch.  
One particular afternoon, while he was brooding inside his classroom, one of his students stayed in and talked to him.  
He didn’t notice that Beth was still inside the room. He looked at his watch and saw that it was lunch hour…again. This has been the only time that he wasn’t interested let alone excited about having lunch. He let out a long breath and rested his head against the cold surface of the white board before turning around surprising himself to see a pair of blue eyes staring at him.  
“What are you still doing here, Beth?” he asked the girl as he sat down behind his desk. The little girl stood up and walked to where he was. “I just wanted to ask if you’re okay?” she asked, and Laurence noted the hint of compassion, and maybe even worry in her voice. He smiled at that and asked in return “why would you ask that?”   
The little girl tilted her head and placed a small box in front of him. “We were worried that you’re sad, Sir.” She said as she pushed the box closer to him. “We’ve noticed that you’re sad…we don’t want you to be sad. You look so much better when you’re happy. Our teacher, Miss Smith says that “If you love someone tell them…because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.”  
Laurence blinked at the words left by his student. Summoning enough strength to answer he muttered “H-how can you say that I love someone?” the little girl smiled and made herself comfortable on the other side of his desk “Miss Oswald makes you happy doesn’t she?” Laurence was taken aback by the statement and did not even manage to answer before the little girl continued “We see you together almost every day since you came here, and you’re happy when you’re with him…and she’s a lot happier when she’s with you too.” The little girl smiled when she saw the colors flushing his cheeks. “See…” she said pointing it out. “You’re really nice Mr. Barker. You’re really good to us, and so is Miss Oswald. For what a child’s words are worth, I think you should be together…” she said before picking up her bag as she turned to leave. But before she did, she turned around and said, “And oh yeah, like what our other teacher used to say, “Life is short. There is no time to leave unimportant words unsaid. Sir, for what it’s worth, the hardest part of acting like you don’t care, is knowing how much you really do.” With that she turned around and exited the door but before she did, Laurence actually manage to speak a few words “Beth?” he called out and she turned around “yeah?” she said with a smile “for what it’s worth? Thank you.” Laurence said with a little smile “See you at band class, Mr. Barker…” and with that she left him alone. 

Laurence, intrigued with what’s inside the box, opened it. He finally smiled when he saw that it was a red velvet cupcake, with cream cheese frosting and a smiley face on top. With a note that says   
That smile tho. We were wondering where it went… Do us all a favor and smile. Smile while you still have teeth.   
Laurence actually smiled at that. He smiled because he was glad that at least to the children he was worth something. He tasted the cupcake and it made him smile more…he really should make it up to his class.   
After pondering a moment, he started to think about the words that Beth had said. For what a child’s worth, it was worth it indeed. She was worth it, but was he?

 

Clara had made a point to explain to him what he had seen, but it was as if that fate was ganging up on her that she was given so many things to deal with day after day. She started worrying when he didn’t show up for lunch. She knew then it was something else, he was really trying to avoid her and not just that one time deal. She had to talk to him, somewhere in her heart; she knew that she had to talk to him.

Friday after class, Clara decided she’d stay in a little bit to finish her visuals for Monday Morning to have the weekend all to her and set things right with Laurence. She passed by the band room and heard the unmistakable sound of piano being played. Only one man except the janitor had the key to the room and it was Laurence. She followed the melody and was not surprised to see him sitting there, tinkering. She watched him play a rather very familiar song, and as she looked at him, she couldn’t help but to see the same man whom she saw at the platform. His shoulders were hunched; his head was bent low as his fingers sadly glided through the keys  
It was the second time this week that she had seen him. Every time Laurence would see her, he would duck his head and turn the other way.  
Clara really wanted to talk him, make things better. But Laurence wasn’t making it easy…he was avoiding her.  
She watched him play the familiar but somewhat sad tune, and let it resonate inside the room.  
“ I don't have much to give, but I don't care for gold  
What use is money, when you need someone to hold  
Don't have direction I'm just rolling down this road  
Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold

You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain,  
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name

Pack up and leave everything, don't you see what I can bring  
Can't keep this beating heart at bay  
Set my midnight terror free, I will give you all of me  
Leave your lover, leave him for me.”

 

Clara knew that something must be terribly wrong now. She knew it then, and she confirmed it now. She was not a fool by any means not to have noticed that sudden change. She could only hope she can make him understand.  
Her heart was beating wildly inside her chest. How she wanted to get closer and just hold him in her arms and chase the doubts away. He wouldn’t hurt if he didn’t feel anything, but she didn’t want to assume. She may feel something, but that doesn’t mean that he feels the same way; or he could, right?

“We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old  
I'm in love with you and you will never know,  
But if I can't have you I'll walk this life alone  
Spare you the rising storms and let the river flow  
You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain  
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name

Pack up and leave everything, don't you see what I can bring  
Can't keep this beating heart at bay  
Set my midnight terror free, I will give you all of me  
Leave your lover, leave him for me  
Leave your lover, leave him for me.”

She saw his shoulder slumped and ran a hand over his head as if in defeat  
Clara dove in head first and decided to bite the bullet and come close. Laurence had lost complete track of time and jumped and heard he heard someone walking, and turned his head. He was not expecting to see Clara though. “What are you doing here?” Laurence asked, confused and nervous.

Clara replied, “I’ve been trying to talk to you this whole week…” Clara said her voice quivering a bit “I wanted to talk to you, but it seems that you don’t…” she continued.

He looked at her and mocked just a bit, “Oh? Did you?” he asked trying so hard not to let his emotions show. “I…There’s not a need to talk, it’s fine… it’s getting late I think you should go home…” 

He stood up, and tried to cross her but she was faster and held him by the arm. “Laurence please…” she tried to reason “I… There’s no need to do this, Clara. Let’s just say that I have the message loud and clear, okay? I just want to leave it at that. You should really get going, Danny might be waiting for you…” he tried to get away, but Clara held him still. “Laurence…” she tried to speak but she was immediately but off; “Look, Lord knows you’ll be far better off without me, away from me…yea?” 

This was why he didn’t want to deal with this right now. He was not capable of having a straight conversation, not when he was hurt. “Great…” he thought, now his eyes were starting to water. He had to get rid of her before he fell apart and really make a fool out of himself now. He turned away from her and leaned against the piano behind him.

Clara saw it clearer than ever now, he indeed felt something for her, that much is true. And now, she had to set things straight. But before she could get a start he was faster. “I could never compete with him, a young and handsome man. I’m just an old and emotionally compromised man…” he stopped short realizing that he might have said too much

Clara finally had the time to speak and so she grabbed it fast. “There’s nothing going on, Laurence. Danny wanted to for a while, but I kept putting it off. We’re not together, and I ended that. That same day you saw everything, but didn’t know half of it. I didn’t do anything, not with him… not with the feelings I have right now.”

“You kissed him.” Laurence said in a rather small voice.

Clara replied, “I didn’t. He did. I didn’t want to, he was to kiss me…I have no interest in him. I’m interested in someone else.”

Laurence didn’t even gathered enough time to comprehend what he was saying before Clara continued “You want to know who it is that I like? I can always give you a clue. He’s older than me, a brilliant musician, a great teacher. He can be shy when he wants to, but underneath he’s just a sweet man, I’ve been attracted to him since I first saw him on that station, and had no idea how to tell him so. I’m so scared, not to mention I have no idea how he felt about me. after what happened though, I know he’s interested. Did you figure out who it is?” she asked him.

Laurence swallowed and whispered, “It sounds a bit like me but…you probably hate me now though.” He didn’t even dared to hope that it was him that she wanted to be with especially after what he did, avoiding her all week, not to mention making assumptions, and just making a complete fool out of himself. When she pulled to get him to face her, he let her. His eyes were a bit red, maybe he had been crying for a while now. 

Clara looked up and brushed the tears off of Laurence’s cheek and sighed “It’s you, just in case you didn’t know. I just didn’t know if you felt the same way or if you were willing to give me was just friendship. I do consider you a friend. I want to give this a chance, if you are…”

Laurence gave her a shy smile and replied “I-I’d like…I’d like that.”

Clara smiled and replied, “Okay. Good.” She jumped up in front of him and wrapped her arms around him in a neck hug. She felt him trying to figure out what to do before he hesitantly placed his arms around her as well. Clara realized that he must’ve spent a few time doubting himself of love, nor affection. Well, she’d fix that too. “I’m willing to take this slow for you…” he whispered and Clara hugged him tighter “I’m willing to do this on your phase. I’m a cuddle bug though, I hope you’ll get used to it Laurence.” She kissed his cheek and backed away a bit without breaking the circle around his neck, as his hands rested on her hips now. “Maybe we should get out of here, yeah?”

Laurence and Clara made their way to the parking lot where Clara’s bike was parked. “you know, Beth knocked some sense into me day before…” he said as he watched their linked fingers “yeah?” she had asked and he nodded “she told me that life is too short to leave things and words unsaid…” Clara nodded “You have to believe that it is…” she furrowed her brow and asked “what are you saying?” she asked. Laurence wanted to ask her out tomorrow but figured out that maybe it was still too fresh, so he decided to take that offer off of the table first. He shook his head, “nothing, I’m just glad we had this talk…” he smiled and Clara squeezed his hand in reassurance; “Me too…” she said with a smile that lights up her whole beautiful face. Laurence dived in head first and placed a kiss on her forehead “Goodnight, Clara Oswald.” He whispered and he felt Clara leaning onto his kiss, and even initiated an embrace. “Goodnight, Laurence Barker.”

They stayed like that for a few moments before separating and riding her bike “Message me when you get home okay?” she asked and he smiled “Don’t forget to eat dinner, and do as you’re told…” He smiled at her and nodded, placing his hands inside his pockets “Yes, boss.”

Laurence watched her drive off before walking to the nearest tube station to get home and wrap this week away.

When he got home he didn’t neglect to do as he was told and messaged her

“I just got home, and already had dinner on the way…” -L

A few moments later, his phone beeped, it was Clara  
“I’m just sitting down for dinner. I’m glad you did, thinking of you.” –C xoxo

That night, Laurence went to bed with a much lighter heart, knowing that he might have a chance with Clara. He really wanted to do this, but he was scared as hell. He can’t go over another phase just like what he did with Ellen, it’ll break him. But he’s far in too deep now, he was head over heels in love with Clara, and he could only hope that she feels the same way about him too…


	7. Man On A Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, a little bit of fluff, and stuff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since its still the semestral break i can indulge on writing a few chapters whenever im not doing anything. this one is a littke (and by little i mean a lot) longer than i expected it would be... bear with me... haha

CHAPTER 7: “Man On A Wire”  
The next week went a little better for both Laurence and Clara. They resumed their routine of eating together for lunch. One particular lunch hour, Laurence caught a glimpse of a little banner from the other side of the room that says…

We’re happy for the both of you…

Laurence saw that it was Beth holding the banner, while a few other members of his choir was cheering him on, giving him thumbs up, and silent claps. Laurence couldn’t help but to smile a little bit wider than expected, and it took Clara’s attention “what’s so funny?” she asked and he only shook his head “I think I need to buy some Eskimo pies this afternoon…” he said as he took a bite of his salad. Clara furrowed her brows in confusion and asked “whatever for?” Laurence shrugged his shoulders and teased “I wouldn’t mind having a sore throat every now and then, or tonsillitis for those wee pudding-brains” he said with a little hint of mischievous glint in his eyes. Clara slapped him on the shoulder and said “Oi! I think their parents wouldn’t appreciate their children being hospitalized you know…” Laurence chuckled and said “It wouldn’t hurt, would it? I owe them one…”

Clara was a bit confused of what he said “owe them what?” she asked, taking a sip of her soda. “Owe them one…” but Laurence didn’t get to finish his sentence as the bell run in lieu for the remaining 10 minutes before classes resume. “Oh, I think that’s our cue to leave…” he wiped his face and kissed her forehead before cleaning up their table. “I’ll see you before we go home, yeah?” Clara placed a hand on his arm and nodded “Definitely…”

As they bid their goodbyes, Beth caught up with Clara, “Miss Oswald!” she hollered, and she turned around to look at who had called her, seeing as it was Beth, she smiled “What is it, Beth?” Beth smiled, two Eskimo pies at hand, she gave Clara the one with the small envelope. “This is so worth the tonsillitis…” Beth giggled walking away, before she turned around and said “Oh, and yeah… You’re BOTH welcome.” Beth made sure she emphasized “both” before running away and vanishing inside her respective classroom. 

Clara had already put two and two together. So it was Laurence’s band class et choir that brought some “sense” into him. Twirling the small envelope at hand, she saw the neatly scribbled penmanship at the back. She knew exactly who it’s from. Eskimo pie in hand, she took a bite out of it and savored the cold gooiness of the chilled dairy and cookie dough, it was like heaven, and then she carefully opened the small envelope.

Clara  
I would love nothing more than to have dinner with you, Friday night…  
L, xx

Clara couldn’t help but to smile, he was such a sweet man. She shook her head at his antics, finishing the pie and pocketing the note, she took her phone from her pocket and typed a quick message 

“is this you asking me out on a date, Mr. Barker? :D  
-C xoxo

Still waiting for his class to all pile up, he felt the buzzing of his phone from inside his pocket. Quickly he took it out and saw it was a message from Clara. He opened it, and smiled before quickly replying

“is it too much? I know it’s a bit abrupt… and seeing as the long weekend, I didn’t think you’d have plans… I guess it is… it’s alright if you’re busy, maybe some other time then?”  
-L xx

Clara just sat down behind her desk when her phone buzzed, knowing who it was, she quickly opened it and sent out a quick reply.

“I would be more than happy to go out with you Friday night…it’s a date then :D”  
-C xoxo

Laurence felt the buzzing again, so he took out his phone and read the reply. He couldn’t help but to smile a little wider than usual, he had a date…with Clara… on Friday. It was a little bit of an information overload for him, and he couldn’t help the feeling of his heart summersaulting inside his chest. He was beaming!

He was brought out from his daydreams when one of his students piped out “Sir, please do us all a favor and don’t smile too much… we don’t want you to split your face in half and then we’ll have to deal with another new music teacher…” Beth, of course, ever the “smart” one riled him up. “Yeah! We like you, Mr. Barker…so don’t…” Charlie said riling him up even more. Laurence pocketed his phone and smiled up at all of them. With a shake of the head, he walked away from his desk and sat atop of the grand piano; looking at his “subjects” he reached for the hidden cooler and placed it beside him. “Never have I ever thought that I would have this much fun teaching. It’s true that I enjoy music, but that doesn’t necessarily means that I’d enjoy teaching too. So far, I have enjoyed it. You guys have been great, and I believe I owe you one…” he said as he firmly tapped the icebox. “You do not owe us, Sir…” Ralph started “You and Ms. Oswald look good together…” he finished with a teasing smile which made Laurence raise a brow. “You guys have been watching too much telly…” he said as his hand tipped the box open and took out an Eskimo Pie. Gently throwing one to each of his students he said in a very grateful tone. “This is me, saying thank you for…everything, I think. Or just thank you.”  
Before he knew it his students piled up from where he was and gave him a group hug. He was shocked at first, but managed to hug them back nonetheless. “All right! Enough of this! If you don’t eat those pies we’re going to have practice…” and then just as fast as the flock flew in, they scattered away like ants running away from a raindrop.  
Little did Laurence know that Clara was watching him interacting with what he called “pudding-brains”; sure enough, Clara enjoyed the view. These little “pudding-brains” brought out something in him, something that she couldn’t quite put a finger on, but it is something good, something maybe even better.

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

Friday couldn’t have come soon enough, and when the day came, Laurence was a bunch of nervous nerves. He was nervous and excited at the same time. He felt like a teenager with raging hormones who’s taking out the girl of his dreams to prom night. Bloody hell! He hasn’t felt this way in a very long while, and he has never thought he’d feel this way ever again.  
He picked her up at her place at seven. When Clara heard the doo bell rang, she pressed the button for the intercom, “I’ll be down in a minute!”  
It took her longer than she usually does in picking out what to wear. She was surprised when she needed over an hour to select a dress for their date. She didn’t want to look skimpy or prudish. What she wore for her either looked a little too short, or too posh. She was having the wrong signals that maybe their outfits wouldn’t match—would he be wearing a suit? Would he be wearing his turtle neck jumpers? Or was he wearing a dress shirt? She had no idea.

She saw a red dress, but placed it back the moment she pulled it out. She didn’t want him to think that she’d be pulling him in a dark corner and suck out his blood, no. She saw a black one, but didn’t want to look like she was going to a fancy soiree or a funeral, God forbid. She took out a grey one that fitted nicely, but placed it back, she didn’t want to look like her Mum.

The next ones she saw were too short, or too fleshy. Some even made her look a little bit chubby. When did she crank up the weighing scale?

Finally, she settled on wearing a midnight blue dress, with wonderful cutwork. The embroidered chiffon accentuated the chest and back area just a little bit. She hoped Laurence wouldn’t mind.

The next hour she had spent with her make-up and doing her hair. She didn’t know if she’d left it lose or a bun, maybe a twist? Finally she decided on a little loose elegant bun with a twist. Donning on her heels and making a quick grab of her purse, she hurried down the steps, and out the door to meet Laurence. He was waiting by the cab he had rented, his back to her.

When he heard the door, he quickly spun around, and was immediately struck by her beauty. He reminded himself not to stare. His eyes traveled quickly over her, and he felt his heart hammering inside his chest. She was beautiful… Summoning enough courage, he took a step forward, and offered his arm.

It suddenly donned on him that he didn’t bring any sort of flowers or anything for that matter. Now he was at loss about what to do with his fumbling fingertips—he was dead sure he looked like a school boy, before finding his voice “You look beautiful…”  
She smiled, and took his arm. “Thank you,” she said before shoving a piece of invisible lock of hair behind her ear, taking the chance to look at him and decided that she had made the right decision.  
He looked handsome wearing his Dark grey suit, with an almost midnight blue dress shirt without the tie, but all buttoned up. She gave herself credit that his shirt almost matched her dress. She smiled to herself, and thought about how handsome he looked in anything that he wore. She had already seen him in modern jumpers, and now a suit, she bet he looked good even when he’s wearing simple tees.

“I spent an hour on the decision of wearing it…” His chuckle was like music to her ears, he opened the car door for her, “if it is any consolation” he said holding out his hand to help her into the cab. “it took me over twenty minutes on what to wear as well…”  
Smirking at him, when he sat himself down, she reached out for his suit, and brushed away the invisible wrinkles “twenty minutes well spent, Mr.Barker.”  
He nodded, and touched the area where her fingers used to be. “I thought the tie was too much, I hope you don’t mind…” she immediately sprung to his rescue, “I don’t mind… you look handsome.” He thanked her with a small boyish smile and a glint in his eyes that told her his thanks.

“I found this small little Italian restaurant not that that from here. Maybe two three blocks from her, we could have walked but I thought, I wouldn’t want you to walk, not without your scarf on tonight. It’s the winter breeze I believe…” she simply grinned at him with sparkling eyes. She patted his thigh and opened up her purse revealing a scarf concealed inside…” Laurence chuckled at her antics “Ms. Oswald, you never cease to amaze me…” Clara laughed a bit “just a bit of a reminder to not let your guard down…” she said with a teasing smile.

Reaching the restaurant, he opened the door for her and paid the cabbie. He offered her his arm again and she took it gratefully. She leaned softly not only it was cold but feeling her shiver slightly, “Will you take my coat, when I offer it to you? I sure do hope you’re not too cold?” she squeezed his arm in reassurance, “No, I’m not. And besides were almost to the door…I’m fine, really.”  
They entered the restaurant and was greeted by the Maître’ D “Bonjour Madame, Monsieur, what can I do for you tonight?” he asked politely. Laurence smiled and said “reservations under Mr. Laurence Barker.” The Maître’ D smiled and looked up on the record book “I’m sorry sir, but it says here that your reservation is not till next week FRIDAY.” Laurence was shocked; he booked for the table tonight, not the next Friday.  
He tried to reason out but ended unfruitful. Now he was standing here with Clara not knowing what else to do. He was humiliated to say the least. Their supposed to be “first date” was a fluke.

“I booked that table for tonight.” He said in a rather defeated tone, and Clara could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. He turned around swiftly, and lowered his head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I made a fool out of me.” he sighed and tried frantically to come up with an alternative. Of course he had none. “I’ll take you somewhere else, even if I don’t know another place…”

He was quick to hail a cab, but she caught his arm in time “No, please! There!” she pointed out to the little American Diner, much like the one they ate last Sunday at. “We can eat there…” she said rubbing his arm. “No, I can’t take out to a diner?” he walked a few steps away, hoping that she’d follow him, but she didn’t.

Why was he beginning to feel that she likes it when he was flustered? Maybe because he was getting out of that hermit shell he’s decided to camp in, forgotten the walls he had built to protect himself, but she had already found a wat to bring them down from that moment she had befriended him. And she was doing this like she would normally do something. “Of course we can. The food there is actually great. They make the best pizza down here, pasta is very good too…”

Laurence was very completely lost. He did not know what to do, he swayed back and forth, wanting to be by her side and out to a fancy restaurant, not a diner for heaven’s sake. Not in her best dress, and one of his best suits too. On the other side, he could clearly see she wouldn’t have any of it. “Clara!”  
There was only one word that would keep her from dragging him inside that diner. He was repeating her name over and over like a little boy who wanted something for his Mummy. She would pull on him and he would follow, and the mantra would start again. She would leave him behind and he would follow still calling at her, like a little boy. Her name on his tongue with that Scottish growl, rolling the letter “R” in his tongue did so many things to her, but he was NOT aware of his power when he says her name.  
“Come on! I am hungry and you promised to take me out to dinner. So take me out!”  
“I wanted to! But not there, I wanted to take you out to a nice restaurant, not an everyday diner…” he tried to do it with a helpless boyish smile and a gesture that surely proclaimed to be begging her. “In the end you think I would do this on all of first dates…”

She sighed and walked up to him, linking her arm though his and dragged him with her, “And how many first dates have you had in a while, May I ask Mr. Barker?” she asked if a bit flirtatiously “And do you always go to the same take away? Do they know your famous name like in the choirmaster industry?”  
He finally followed her and thought that this must be an amusing picture for others. The smaller person was clearly dragging a long and lanky man into a take away and to top it off they were overly dressed for this occasion. What a sight for sore eyes they must be.  
The famous ding of the doorbell acknowledged that they had come in, and when they did, the man dressed in a uniform glanced up for a second. Then was back to making his pizza after finding the odd couple, and the oddest story that comes with how they ended up inside his diner.  
“Hello!” Clara said leaning against Laurence, who really felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know where to look and acknowledging his stare with a short smirk.  
“Hi, how can I help you guys?” the man was clearly unsure what to make of it.  
“Uhh…we’d like to eat?” Laurence said if a bit unsure “Okay…” the man replied.  
Laurence glanced down at Clara who was still clinging to his arm and giggling, and it felt like he had gone out with a teenager, but to be perfectly honest, he found it very charming but didn’t want to show it off too much. “Do you have Pizza or Pasta?” he asked trying not to sound mocking or even dryly. Quickly he raised his hand in apology, “We’d like to have A Medium sized pizza, and two lasagnas.”

The man quickly jotted it down and looked up “will it be to go?” but before Laurence could answer, Clara answered “for here…” and turned around to the only bar table in the room “we could dine here, yeah?” the man thought it was a joke, before Laurence pulled out his wallet and added repeated and confirmed their order with a side of garlic bread and two tiramisus for desert. The man wrote it down quickly and added “anything to drink?” 

“Do you have beer?” Clara asked “No alcohol miss sorry… Root beer, Coke, Fanta…” he explained and looked back to Laurence “Root beer for me, then…” Clara said as she seated herself on a stool her feet twirling around like a little girl. “A root beer and a Fanta if you can manage it, please.” Laurence said and the man nodded “no problem mate, order will be served in a little while.”  
“Thanks.” Laurence waited for the drinks before returning back to their table. She still let her feet twirl in the air like a little girl, watching herself with a smile on her lips. “You’re enjoying this…” Laurence said in a conclusion and not a question. Grabbing the can from him gently she smiled at him “Yes, and why would I not?”  
“I planned to take you out to a fancy restaurant,” he said shrugging off his coat

“I’m sure it would have been very nice, but doubt it would be this fun. I had so many laughters…” she watched him drink from his Fanta, and watched him placed in on the table. “it suits you…”  
“Mh?” he stopped. “What exactly?”  
“A smile,” she nipped from the drink. “You do it so rarely. I found myself asking why and thought that it suits you. You should do it more often.”  
He watched her drink, then his eyes dropped to her hands in front of him and he checked the fit of his glasses, as if it was a dream they projected. “So about your question, earlier,” he speaks on. “How many first dates I had last week.”

She laughed, the peak of her tongue peeking out between her teeth, and he thinks she is adorable and he is afraid and doesn’t know why.  
“Do you want me to take a guess?” she asked when he kept silent.  
“I haven’t done this in a very long while… you can even call it “virgin” if you want…”  
“Im not sure how these things goes anymore…”  
“I think we should see what happens,” she answered for him. “Would that be okay for you?”  
“Yes.”  
He looked around on the the table for cutlery, but there is none and he found Clara smile then when he asked her with his eyes what now. She had already taken a slice into her hands and he started nodding, puffing air, “Tell me, is this the worst date you ever had?”  
Chewing she mumbled, “I am still making up my mind.”

“So I have still a chance to land second to last?” he loved pizza, and as much as he would’ve have wanted to take her to a fancy restaurant, fate wasn’t with him tonight. He finally gave in and bit down on the cheesy gooey goodness, and was very surprised it was very delicious, far more than he thought it would taste, and while he waited for an answer he looked at his food as if he just had found a new favourite place to eat. He thought of bringing Clara back here, maybe on a none date-night date… like on an easy Sunday, but definitely never again on a night like tonight.  
“No, you have still chance to come first place,” a long trail of cheese hanged from her mouth to the slice she had moved as far away as she could, to pluck it off like a five year old would. Laurence looked at her and had to smile. She was like a little girl in so many ways, but she isn’t. She’s a beautiful, vivacious, woman. Giggling she used one finger to roll the cheese up, till she had a thick knob of it on her finger.

“Watching you now, I should be glad that I haven’t taken you out to one of these expensive restaurants,” he smiled and Clara punched him on the shoulder.  
He found himself in the same cheese-dilemma only seconds after he had said it and it made him blush when she came to his rescue making another knob of cheese and taking it away from him and the slice he had, gathering it up before placing in on his mouth. They were like two teenagers on a date. Unaware of the smiles from the other patrons of the diner who were watching the oddly dressed couple playing with their food.  
Minutes went by while they eat in like how they would during lunch hour, filled with jokes and bantering with a new added part called as the battle with the cheese and exchange how good everything tastes. Clara decided maybe it’s time for her to know a little bit more about him…  
“Laurence?” she asked, and he looked at her with a boyish look in his eyes “Hmm?” he hummed just like a 5 year old boy would. She wiped some tomato sauce from his face and asked “I wanted to ask you something, but I never have found the perfect time for it. I was hoping that maybe tonight was the time?” she said carefully.  
Laurence swallowed the rest of his pizza and asked “what is it?” Clara dove in head first and decided to ask “I was hoping you’d tell me a little bit more about you… what you were doing at the train station?”

He took a deep breath and prepared the words inside his head before telling her his story. How he used to be Midsomer’s choirmaster, and his arch rivalry with Francis. He told her how he “stole” his dream job away from him and how his dreams started to falter one by one. He finally had the guts to tell her that he was once married. How he was married to Ellen, their first few years of marriage, how he discovered her infidelity and how he discovered how after all that time she never really loved him.  
They finished their dinner and he left a rather large amount of tip, but he didn’t care.  
The air was chilly and she shivered when they stepped outside into the cold. Opening her purse she pulled out the scarf, blushing over it and giving Laurence a shy smile before she wrapped it around her neck.

“Here,” he placed his coat over her shoulders. “No, please take it. I am fine. I am not cold.”  
She tucked herself into the thick coat, noticing the faint scent of him. He smelled wonderful. She could faintly smell tea, oranges, sandalwood, a hint of fresh ink and old music sheets, and a smell that was entirely his.  
Now, Clara knew what happened she couldn’t help but to feel sorry for him. he deserves so much better, really he does. She could see from the emotions playing across his face that she had become his world, and then it went all crashing down upon him  
Before he could hail a cab, she took his hand and told him that they walk back home together. The night was beautiful if a bit chilly. Winter was just around the corner but the sky was beautiful. Stars filled the night sky, and not a cloud was visible to obscure the view of those wonderfully lit heavenly bodies. The moon cast a soft glow that blended with the streetlights and the pavement.

Laurence seemed to be astray from his thoughts; he remained quiet which was so unlike him. Clara felt a little bit guilty, and she held on to him just a little bit tighter and squeezed his hand reassuringly, telling him that she’s there for him.  
He looked down at her hand enfolding around his arm, pulling him slightly and so he stopped, tilting his head to see her better in the dark.  
“Now I feel bad,” she begun and he shook his head at her telling her otherwise…”Don’t. you don’t have to, not on my account.”  
Clara grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled the fabric more around her, searching for shelter in the way to large coat and searching for confidence. “I shouldn’t have asked…it wasn’t my place…”

“I didn’t know why you were there, I didn’t mean to bring up memories now I know that you’re trying to move forward,” she continued and he nodded in painful remembrance. “I know how hard it is to lose someone you love…let alone what had happened to you, you deserve so much more.”  
Laurence shifted to the other side, admiring her in silence about her talent - understanding things others - in his experience - never did. “So tell me why, … Clara,” how could he make her name sound so special? “Why do you feel bad?”  
It was cold and she could see he was shivering, dancing on the spot to keep himself warm, that's why she suggested with a tilt of her head to walk on - slowly.  
“I feel bad because I didn’t want you to dwell on you past. I just wanted to know and now I’m afraid I brought up painful memories, and I really shouldn’t have asked. You would’ve have told me sometime yea? I should have waited for that time, and didn’t have to enforce it upon you…it was wrong. I’m sorry.”  
They had reached the street where she lived and without noticing this, Laurence stopped, “If this is leading to somewhere, I would have liked to tell you. I don’t want you to know from others… I would’ve liked for you to have known”

“What if I don’t want to hear it?”  
“You only say that, because you not want to see me … see me sad, am I right?”  
“You still love her, don’t you? I don’t think I have the right to know more about it. Not now, later. Tell me later! When you trust me.”  
“When I trust you? You think I don’t trust you?” he asked.  
“I do not want to impose anything, Laurence, take it slow you said so… and I think you would have told me when you have wanted to. I don’t want to make assumptions, and I do not want to impose. I care for you… I want trust…” maybe she knew this about him, because she was the same. “We both want the other to earn it.”  
“How?”  
“Patience, probably,” she smiled to the ground.

“will you let me tell you my tales some other time then?” he made a step closer to her, facing her.  
“This is our first date,” for a second her fingers spread away from her, longing for Laurence. “I don’t want to see you sad.”  
He saw her fingers, and felt his twitch in response but he couldn’t bring up the courage to reach for her. It was a mess, everything right now was a mess in his opinion. He needed to tell her that he had growing feelings for her, and he was so tired of loving someone and not being loved back. He got tired of waiting and expecting, he’s healing but there’s still a long road ahead. On the other hand there was still time, this was a first date, and he would tell her later. Hopefully before it was too late.  
He gave in, stepping aside so she would lead the way to her door. “Can I say something?”  
Turning slightly, she smirked, “Let’s hear.”

“For a second I thought, that I wouldn’t get this far. I thought I would just…flunk and just live to be a lonely, bitter, old man. I never thought to feel alive again, never thought I will have the chance to move on…so quickly. I’m hurting, but I do not want to dwell.”  
They had reached her door, but Laurence was not ready to let her go, so he fixed his gaze on her, not wanting the evening to end  
He loved looking at her. He loved studying her features, and just stares at her. His mother taught him well not to stare, but he couldn’t help himself. But this time, it was her who was staring at him

Gazing at him for such long, that he felt it down his spine, “You are staring at me… like always  
She tried to speak but her mind has went on vacation, leaving her behind. She remained speechless.  
‘Say it!’ she yelled inside, reaching out for his hands to take them in hers.  
She placed her hands on him, and he reveled in it. Feeling the tingling sensation it brought to him. he can feel shivers run down his spine, it was like electricity running through his veins, her touches left burning sensations as if he was burned. He brought their hands and looked at their entwined fingers “I like you… really like you.”  
“I like you too,” he said and she closed her eyes over it, shaking her head.

“No, not how I would love a book, or a play,” she was glad her eyes were shut, because she could bet he was rolling his eyes in confusion. “Well, maybe a bit like I like a book, because I really like books.. and anyway, I ... ,” her eyes flung open again, when she felt his thumbs circle over the back of her hands. “This is nice.”  
He shifted an inch, biting the inner of his cheeks, with one of his rare smiles on his face. “Clara.”  
How ever it had happened, but he found his free hand raise and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Like earlier his legs, now it seemed his hands disobeyed him and had developed a life of their own. What was he doing? What did he think who he was? He didn’t deserve her. He only would disappoint her.  
She pulled at his hand, leaning into the touch of his fingertips, still in contact with her ear, slowly gliding down her jawline. Clara could see the storm in his eyes, sending out warnings that she chose to ignore. Instead she decided to go all in, going on her tip toes, pulling him in and he didn’t resist at first.

There was a beat he couldn’t place in the first moment, till he realized it was his harrumphing heart. He likes her….dare even say love. Screw it, he loved her. he is in love with her. he can’t deny that, no matter what he does. He cannot deny the fact that he is in love with her. As odd as the night had become he came to like it. He loved the evening. He loved spending time with her. The ruined fancy dinner, the diner-date. The pizza, and the lasagna, the embarrassment at his charge had gone to be forgotten. There are not many things he wants in life anymore, he loved music yes, and now he wanted Clara.  
He can’t. Can’t do it. So he stepped back, her hand slipping out of his, earning a startled face filled with questions and insecurities. “Laurence?”  
There only would be disappointments. He was old, older than her. he would only bring her disappointment. He was not good for her. She will be better off with someone else. He was not the one for him. he was only fooling himself

. “I am sorry, I…”, he wanted to explain but he needs to run away, needs to go. “Goodnight Clara.”  
He didn’t look back anymore and Clara found herself reaching out for the man that had gone. He was like a dream, you could always try to reach out, but could never get that far. For the first time Clara felt cold and she hung onto his coat that was the only thing left for her to hold on to. she felt tears running down her cheek unchecked.  
Maybe it wasn’t Laurence who was sad in the end. It was Clara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for the love... for actually reading, thank you :D


	8. You Belong to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a real kiss. fluff. flowers. that kiss tho :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally took them one step forward...just a bit.

CHAPTER 8: “You Belong to Me”  
The next day was a Saturday and after the long weekend, Monday was declared a holiday so they won’t be seeing each other till Tuesday.  
After their little encounter she was quite a mess inside. Her thoughts circled around the moment by the door and the moment he had walked away without really explaining himself. On Saturday she tried to distract herself by doing some grocery shopping, grading and reading essays, some chores that were left unspoken of and cleaning the apartment. But not one single moment she was able to push the thoughts about him aside. She even found herself looking for him at the music shop with little hope that she would bump into him there.

Laurence sat in front of the piano in hopes that he would clear his mind even just a little bit, he tried reading, doing laundry, watching telly just to be occupied. The night after it had happened, he didn’t even manage to sleep even a wink. His mind was filled of the events hours ago. Clara smiling, Clara laughing, Clara and him and how he kissed her.

It was all Clara inside his head, something that he didn’t want to allow, but had no power over it. He never should have asked her out. If ever he had made stupid decisions, he was this was the epitome of it all. He could have spared her so much trouble and himself from that embarrassment and that hurtful scene at the doorstep, and him running away like a scared little school boy who wet his pants.

Was there too much past to have a good future with her? Why this thought even did hurt? Was his reason enough? Of course he knew. His reason wasn’t enough; he knows that, he just simply didn’t allow the truth to come through. Why was he so scared?  
In the end he had no idea. He wanted to do something, to try and just get her off his mind for a bit, Heaven have mercy he was tired. He was so tired of hiding his feelings, he was so tired of hurting, but he’s scared; so scared to even try to feel love again. He had fallen fast for Clara, and the worst wasn’t over, he was still falling. Hard. Fast and hard, and he isn’t fast enough to catch himself if he ever fell.   
He stood up and left his apartment. Hailing a cab he went to the church hoping that preparing the mass songs would help him stir his thoughts away from Clara.  
Laurence sat in front of the piano for God knows how long, he was suddenly broken from his reverie when a hand landed on his shoulder. He jumped a little and turned around to see Father Smith looking down at him. Carefully he stood up and gathered the sheet music trying to compose himself “I-I was—uh…I was just, preparing the hymns to be used…” he stammered, but Father Smith knew better.  
The older man gently touched his shoulder making him stop his fidgeting. “What’s wrong Laurence?” he asked quietly. “I didn’t even know you were here. Is everything all right?” he asked; Laurence sighed and slumped down on the piano bench. “I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily and care too much…” he whispered.  
Father Smith sighed, pulled a chair out and sat beside him; “What’s troubling you my son?” Laurence hesitated for a bit, but who else could he go to? He didn’t know too much people since he moved away from Midsomer, so he bit the bullet and told Father Smith everything that had happened. “I don’t want to disappoint her, she deserves so much more…” he said shaking his head “I feel like I’m…corrupting her…” he said swallowing the thick lump in his throat. “Could it be as simple as that you’re afraid?” the older man asked him carefully. “Could it be that you’re more afraid for yourself than for her sake? Do you not want to move on? Maybe give it a try?”  
Laurence contemplated on his words before eventually speaking “I’m not afraid to try again.” He said just above a whisper “I’m just afraid of being getting hurt for the same reason…” he said finally looking up at him, and Father Smith nodded knowingly.

Father Smith sighed and thought of what to say; “When you have a good heart: you help too much, you trust too much, you give too much, you love too much and it always seems you hurt the most. And you have a good heart, but that doesn’t mean you need to be hard on yourself and not go on. You said so yourself, you’re not afraid to try and move on. But love, much like life is a cycle; when you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate. When you hate, you try to forget. You start missing, and when you start missing you’ll eventually fall in love again.” Father Smith said as he turned his head to look at him. Laurence met his eyes, and he continued “do you love her?” he asked simply.

Laurence bowed his head and nodded “yes…” he whispered. “People build walls around them not to keep others away, but to see who cares enough to bring them down…” Father Smith said as he stood up. Placing a hand on his shoulder he said to him in a low burr, “People fall in love by chance. They stay in love, by choice. If you love someone, tell them. Forget the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is really ridiculous is passing up an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in them.” He gave his shoulder one final squeeze before walking away. But before he could enter the door to the rectory he turned around and said “Oh, and Laurence?” at the sound of his name, his head shot up and looked at him and tilted his head; “When you really love someone, age, height, weight..” he started before turning away again and continuing “…is just a damn number.”  
Laurence finally smiled and thought of what he had said.  
When his cell phone rang he gave it a quizzical look. It rarely rang through the work hours, and it was a Saturday after all. He shook the feeling off and pressed the answer button. Surely someone who had dialed the wrong number.  
“Hello?” There was a moment of silence in the line, but he could hear a breath, “hello?”

 

For some reason his voice had taken out all of her courage and her mind had went blank for a second, but she spoke up eventually, “Is it something I did wrong?”  
“Clara,” he dropped the pen he was holding with his right hand.  
She had planned the whole speech inside her mind. She never would happen the way she wished for. Why must fate be so cruel sometime? She pressed back into her couch, and tucked her knees under her chin. “Is it something that I did wrong?” she repeated hoping an answer that wasn’t her name.  
Laurence felt his chest constricting with pain, while his heart hammered inside his chest, threatening to blow out from his ribcage. “Clara, I…,” he not really wanted to have this conversation but he knew he owned it to her. “You did everything perfectly.”  
Clara held her breath, biting her fingernails, “I don’t understand, Laurence.”  
He turned himself from around the bench thinking of what to say and do; “the evening was perfect. You were perfect, so beautiful…it was all so lovely.” He started and felt his lower lip trembling, he was so nervous but he wanted to do her right. “I’m so sorry…” he whispered.  
No, that was not the words she had rehearsed before her call, “I.. I still don’t understand.”  
He felt miserable and what else he should feel. “Why am I even so afraid of losing you, when you’re not even mine?” he asked with his trembling voice that was like daggers to her heart. “You don’t walk away if you care for a person. You help them.” She started and he was quiet on the other line “I want to help you…” she whispered, not noticing the tears falling from her cheeks “I want to help you.” He remained silent on the other line, so she continued before she loses her guts “if I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then will you realize that you’re special to me…”  
Before he could even form the words, she had hung up on him. Laurence closed his eyes and looked up above. God help him but he loves her so. And he could only hope she does too. He knew just what to do and if he was making a fool out of himself, he couldn’t even care less.  
Laurence went to Clara’s place but was told by her landlady that she was away. Laurence calculated his next steps and called for a little help, of course he needed to persuade her landlady first.

 

Clara got back to her penthouse apartment and when she reached the door she was surprised by the sight that greeted her.  
Flowers. They were everywhere. Different kind of flowers, different colors. She walks through the house, discovering even more. Throughout the small dining room, the kitchenette, the living room and even the stairs, they were everywhere even the balcony. She looks around and smiles. It was beautiful, no one has even done this for her, and it was starting to bring tears into her eyes. She looks down and notices a heart taped to the floor. They were all numbered. She shakes her head before following the numbers to number one. She looks at the bouquet of bright orange flowers. She picks up the card that says “read me” that was propped on the rim of the vase. Clara opens the card to see the name of the flower, “Alstroemeria” and the definition “Friendship”, on the bottom half was a brief description, “Because you are my best friend.” She grins before looking down and following the rail to heart number two. She comes upon cute purple flowers, “Anemone” and picked up the card and read it “Anticipation—because I love trying to anticipate what else you can do to me.” she finds heart number three with a bright pink flower in the vase, “Aster” she picks up the card, loving the game that she knew only one man would do right now. Laurence. She giggles as she reads the card “Patience—because you are so very patient with me, Clara, even when you don’t want to be.”

Heart number four was a few steps away with a weird looking flower that looked like a bird. She picks up the card and snickers at the name “Birds of Paradise.” She couldn’t help but smile even more as she reads the meaning and his words “Joyfulness—You bring me joy, just in case you didn’t know.” Heart number five came next and with it was a delicate pink Carnation with she knew very well what meant. “Pride and Beauty—I am very proud that I have known you, and so very honored and proud (again) that I can see your beauty every day.” Clara snorts “being a suck up now I see, aren’t you Mr. Barker?” she asks no one in particular. She knew he had to be around here somewhere, but for now she was having too much fun playing his little game.

She finds heart six and a strange tall purple flower, “Delphinium” she flips the card and it says, “Heavenly—because I am in heaven every time I see your smile, and every time I hear your laugh.” Heart seven was a few steps, and these little flowers called “Freesias”, gave off a very sweet scent. She grabs the card and smiles “Innocent—because you are far too innocent for me.” Heart eight was next with long stemmed, pale pink flowers called “Gladiolus”. Opening the card, it says “Strength of Character—because I love how strong you are, and I do not mind you bossing me around.” 

She came upon heart 9 and with it a strange little purple flower, “heather” that she didn’t think even was a flower. She wipes a teat out of her eye as she reads the card. “Admiration—I admire how you could ever like (maybe, and hope love) a man like me.” “Oh, Laurence…” she breathes out. “Even though you make me crazy, I have fallen for you, I have fallen for you so hard, unlike no other.” She looks down and follows the hearts to find 10 a pretty white flower, “Queen Anne’s Lace.” She flips the card and open “Sanctuary—because you are my sanctuary.”

Heart 11 was a few times away. It was a pink flower, which she thought was another Carnation. But Laurence quickly corrected her when she read the card, “Ranunculus.” She shakes her head when she sees the rest of the card. “Radiant—because to me, you are radiant in everything that you do.” “Really laying it on thick, Laurence.” She shakes her head once again. She quickly finds the heart 12 along with another pink flower that looked so strange “Snapdragon”. She lets out a laugh and when she opens the card, “Desire—because I desire you more than you can ever know.”

She beams when she finds heart 13 taped to the coffee table and one of her favorite flowers, “Tulips” in a huge bouquet. She opens the card “Declaration of love—I, Laurence Baker, declare to the whole world that I am in love with you, Clara Oswald.” She shakes her head while picking up a Tulip from the vase and breathing in the scent. The house was starting to smell like a florist, but she was okay with that.

She keeps hold on the tulip as she starts to follow the hearts again. They lead her right into the balcony. She looks up and gasps as almost every surface was covered in roses. And not just red ones, but pink, yellow, and white. She looks up as she realizes a set of white Christmas lights were strung up inside the room, giving the room a soft glow.  
She could quietly hear music coming from inside and when she turned around she was surprised to see Laurence standing inside her living room with a guitar hung around his neck serenading her…  
She takes a step towards Laurence who was watching her as he strum the chords. A tear slipped down her cheek as she takes another step towards him. Laurence begins singing and she plucks the final card from the guitar’s machine head. She looks at it for a moment before opening it. “Roses,” she reads. “Love—because there isn’t enough space on this card for me to say how much I am in love with you.” She looks up and sees a nervous Laurence still singing his heart out, to her, for her.

See the pyramids around the Nile  
Watch the sun rise  
From the tropic isle  
Just remember darling  
All the while  
You belong to me  
See the market place  
In old Algiers  
Send me photographs and souvenirs  
Just remember  
When a dream appears  
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you  
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean  
In a silver plane  
See the jungle  
When it's wet with rain  
Just remember till  
You're home again  
You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you  
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean  
In a silver plane  
See the jungle  
When it's wet with rain  
Just remember till  
You're home again  
You belong to me

 

She leaves him there and watches him sing to her from his heart. She could see that he was nervous as hell, and there were tears forming from behind his eyes. Her tears were flowing down her cheek unchecked, and she laughed a little as she wiped them away. When he finished the song, she placed the guitar down slowly and shoved his hands inside his pockets.

“I am so in love with you. So very much. And I wanted to make it up to you. So I scoured the city looking for every one of these flowers. You deserve the world, Clara Oswald. And I want to give it to you, if I could, and I would. I want to do it right this time.”  
He takes a step towards her, and holds her hand in his kissing it both; “Clara Oswald, will you have me?” he adds on “Will you take my heart to fill or burst, break or bury, or even wear as jewelry, which ever you prefer…”

“You’re an idiot,” she says before throwing herself at him. “But you’re my idiot…” she peppers his face with kisses while he laughs. “does that mean yes?”  
“yes, yes,” she cries. “A hundred times yes.” 

She pulls back a little and looking at each other they finally met in the middle sharing their first real kiss. He hands come up and start to unbutton his shirt. He pulls away while grinning at her and taking her hand to kiss them again “are you sure?” she reaches out to continue with unbuttoning his shirt. “you have until Monday to prove me all of these…” she gestured around before continuing “and I wouldn’t have it any other way…” she then kisses him but cuts it off abruptly before walking away and crooking her finger at him with a mischievous smile. Laurence followed her quickly and swooped her off the ground and kissed her. Clara in turned wrapped her legs around his rump and made their way to the bedroom


	9. Can't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut...love...fluff... "can't let go" :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like old songs, so bear with me... yeah. its smut, i know :D hehehe... thanks for all the comment and the lovin guys... :D

CHAPTER 9: “Can’t Let Go”

 

Reaching for the bedroom, Laurence gently lowered Clara down so that they were standing face to face. Clara watched the colors of the evening sky danced around his tired but beautiful eyes. Reaching out, she gently placed her palm on his cheeks, and smiled sadly when she felt him lean towards her touch. Her heart ached for him from how much he craved for affection.

He didn’t move, not one inch , when she approached him, tiptoeing and reaching for his neck to pull him down with all the fondness in her eyes, longing for a long necessary kiss.  
Her lips enclosed around his lower lip and this time he skipped the awkward part and brought his hands around her, hugging her tight, taking the invitation of her lips to kiss her with a soft moan. All the tensions of the last days fell off of him, the second she gave into him. It was now just her and him.  
Clara pressed herself into him, almost clinging and he needed to step backwards, quickly realizing it was what she wanted and so they wandered kissing and fondling their way towards the bed. It wouldn’t end there. Her hands found the first button of his shirt, fumbling with it for a moment. It had been a while for her to undress a man.  
Never breaking the kiss, Clara slid her hand down his shoulders through his arms, and finally for his hands. Lovingly she intertwined their fingers and broke the kiss, for much needed air. Not wanting to fully break contact, Laurence placed gentle kisses to her forehead while she nuzzled his chin.

“You have beautiful hands…”  
Laurence looked at their intertwined fingers and then at her face. They were standing in the middle of her room, while she was playing with his hands.

"You think so?" He asked, letting her turn his hand over, so she could inspect his palm.  
"Mhm… very soft hands."  
"I also happen to have very soft lips. Wanna touch?" he teased

She grinned and reached up to run her fingers over his mouth, but he caught her hand and pulled her into his chest, capturing her lips with his instead. He let go of her fingers and ran his hand over her smooth thighs. He found that he loved it when she wore short skirts. He had absolutely no problem imagining her long legs wrapped around his hips. How good that would feel.

Clara smiled in their kiss, and gently pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed. He pulled her onto his lap without breaking their connection. The way she smelled, the way she tasted, the way she felt. It was incredible. Laurence couldn't remember feeling like this and it made him wonder if he had ever loved before at all. He wanted her, wanted her in every possible way and for once in his life, he wasn't afraid to lower his walls.

Winding his arms around her back, he pushed his tongue past her teeth, massaging hers and taking control over the kiss. He could feel his excitement pressing painfully against the inside of his zipper and he knew, knew that she could feel him too, but she had yet to break the kiss. Instead she settled more of her weight on his lap, while her fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging on it.  
“Clara…” he said breathlessly

 

Instead of answering, Clara pulled away and turned so she was facing him before dropping the dress. It fell to her feet, where she carefully stepped out of it. He tried, really tried keeping his eyes on hers, but he was only a man, after all. He took in the carefully-chosen lingerie that she was wearing, bra and panties matching. He knew that usually wasn't the case. His tongue came out to moisten his lips as hooded eyes made their way back up to hers. She was perfect.  
Knowing she was still somewhat reserved, he took a step in her direction, gently cupping her face in his palms. His lips descended on hers where the initially soft kiss turned passionate quickly. Her arms wound themselves around his neck as she pulled herself against him. His body heat radiated through his clothes, mixing with hers and creating comfortable warmth that she never wanted to miss again.  
Finally she reached the final button of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. His mouth left hers as he pulled his head back. "Clara?" She ignored him and ran her hand down his chest and stomach until his hands covered hers. "Are you sure?"  
"Yes," she breathed out and continued.

 

For a moment, he stood motionless before his brain had caught up with her. Leaning in, he kissed her once more, his tongue slipping between her parted lips to tangle with hers while his hands slipped down to her torso, caressing the silky skin before they went to her backside, pulling her against him while gently kneading the flesh.  
Now that his shirt was undone she started to unbuckle his belt and trousers off, his mouth never leaving hers. He stood before her in only his boxers now and she could feel his hardness pressing against her belly. He was a bundle of nerves, he hasn’t done this in a while…little did he know, that so did Clara. She used to be afraid; her first time with her boyfriend didn’t really end well. But not with him; he wasn’t him. He was nothing like her ex she told herself; he would never hurt her.   
His mouth moved over to her neck where he suckled and nibbled lightly. "Are you okay?" He asked and his voice sounded lower than usual. She nodded and walked backwards towards the bed, pulling him with her by the waist.  
He was careful to keep his weight off her as his gentle lips danced over her clavicle and down between the valley of her breasts. Looking up, he gave her a gentle smile. "Are you sure?"  
"Yes," she replied once more.

 

His hands slipped underneath her upper body, where he easily found the clasp of her bra. He took his time pulling down each strap until her breasts were freed. Sighing, he gently ran the back of his fingers over the underside of the left one before bending down to kiss the inner side. He could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest and pressed a kiss on top of it. "Okay?" She nodded and stroked one hand over his cheek before tangling her fingers in his short hair, smiling when his eyes closed at the touch.  
He gave the same treatment to the other breast before moving down, kissing her belly button, before gently nibbling on her producing hipbones. When he came to her panties, he pressed his lips to the silk and then looked up. "Are you okay?" If she asked him to stop now, he would need to go 'take care of himself', so to speak, in her bathroom. There was no way he would fit into his pants again, otherwise.  
"Yes," she answered again, already a little fed up with his constant asking.

 

Laurence slowly pulled her panties off and just looked at her nude form for a moment. She truly was magnificent. "You're so beautiful," he breathed. He bent down and rubbed his five o'clock stubble over her inner thighs, smiling when she started squirming under him. Ever so gently, he ran his fingers over her, before slowly parting her already moist lips, only to find her glistening wet. His hard member twitched at the sight and he couldn't help but squeeze himself once or twice. He gently kissed her mound and looked up again, finding her looking at him with hooded eyes. Holding her gaze, he slowly ran his thumb over her clit and she bucked into the touch, releasing a small moan.  
He smiled and continued caressing her that way, loving how responsive she was. His mouth kissed over her thighs and his free hand moved into his boxer shorts so he could caress himself. Feeling that she was getting close, he pulled his hand away from her, grinning when she groaned at the loss of touch. Laurence finally pulled off his underwear and kneeled in front of her so that she could see him. He could tell the exact moment her eyes had found his hardness, as she released a half moan, half gasp. Shame on her, her gaze had gone straight to it.

 

She reached out for him and he leaned down, kissing her gently while he carefully lowered his body on hers, so that they were touching from head to toe. Clara loved the feel of his skin on hers and doubted that there could ever be something as beautiful as this. She wanted him. Now.  
Reaching over, she pulled open a drawer while his lips and fingers were busy touching her all over. She quickly found what she was looking for and gripped his hand where it was making its way towards her center again.

 

Laurence suddenly snapped out from the moment when he remembered he didn’t have anything with him. He broke the kiss and swallowed hard, while his eyes were as big as two dish plates. “What?” Clara asked “What’s wrong?” Laurence groaned and buried his face on the pillow before mumbling “I didn’t plan on getting this far, I’ve got nothing on me…” Clara giggled a bit and pulled him to her kissing him, “I’m covered its fine. I don’t want to use to things anyway… I want to feel you, all of you…” Laurence smiled and kissed her gently and lovingly making her moan.  
Trailing her hands down his stomach, she reached for his member and stroked him until he growled. Gently she pushed him on a sitting position and placed kisses on his neck and collar bone. Framing her face in his hands he asked her one more time “Are you sure?”   
“Laurence, if you ask me one more time, I will hurt you.”

 

He smiled and leaned in to peck her lips while her hands slowly tugged and teased his engorged member; “Fuck…” he moaned, rolling his head back  
He was scorching hot in her hands; she blew on his manhood and watches it twitch in her hands while he released a feral groan. When she was finished, she looked up to see that his eyes were still tightly closed and he was breathing heavily. Maybe all this teasing had gotten to him, after all. Feeling empowered by his reaction, Clara boldly let her hand slip over his flesh, gently but gradually stroking him harder. Her eyes held amazement as his mouth dropped open and he released a low moan, thrusting into her loose grip.  
He made a protesting sound in the back of his throat when she suddenly stopped and his eyes opened. There was no sight of his irises, as his pupils had dilated to their fullest. Laurence brought their lips back together and gently lowered her to the mattress, parting her legs with his knee. He took himself in his hand and scooted closer, moving into position.

 

"Clara, are you - OW!" He yelped, one of his hands going to his waist.  
"I told you what would happen if you asked me again."  
"But pinching me? That actually hurts!" He pouted. "Sweetheart, if you -" He stopped when her fingers came to close to his side again. "I was just gonna say that we can stop at any time. You just need to tell me, alright? I... can never regret this, and I don’t want you too either." She nodded and he leaned in for a gentle kiss. “I never could regret this…” she smiled reassuringly which made him smile in return.  
Pushing him gently off of her, she figured out how to tell it to him; “I want this, but I want you to know that… I haven’t done this in a while. Really long while…” she said biting her lower lip. Laurence nodded and kissed her forehead and said “we could still stop…I don’t want to hurt you.” She pulled his face to her and kissed him; “I want you. I want this… I’m not scared, not anymore… just be gentle… is all.” Laurence nodded and kissed her lovingly, “I could never hurt you… that… that would kill me.”

 

Testing the waters with his fingers once more, Laurence started moving the tip towards her entrance. It wasn't long until he heard her hiss and move slightly away. He had barely touched her. "Alright. Easy. It's probably going to hurt a little."  
Taking a deep breath, she gave him a short nod and once again he carefully moved his lower body towards hers.  
"It's so big," she got out, biting her lip and almost drawing blood.

 

He wasn't even 'in' yet and she was already hurting. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said, starting to shower her face with soft kisses, while his hands stroked over her body, one of them finding itself where they were connected. With only a couple of strokes over her sensitive bud, he could feel her whole body relax. He used that to his advantage and pushed further into her. The moment he had broken through her hymen was crystal clear as Clara whimpered at the pain. He kissed her over and over again, whispering words of adoration against her skin as his fingers continue their gentle movements. It was torture to not be moving his lower body at all, but he didn't want to hurt her more than necessary.

 

After a long while he could feel her inner muscles relaxing further around him and took that as an invitation to move forward, slowly moving in and out again, before moving deeper, not stopping until she had gotten fully accustomed to all of him.  
"Clara," he whispered. "Look at me." She opened her eyes and he could see the wetness in them. "Does it hurt that much?" He asked and she nodded slightly. "I'm sorry." He dropped his head and kissed her lovingly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."  
He stayed where he was, not daring to move at all when her arms circled his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. "Slowly, okay?"  
"Of course. Anything you need. If you need me to stop at any time, Clara -"  
She put a finger to his lips. "Just go slow."

 

And he did, moving his hips ever so slowly, taking hints from both her inner walls as well as her facial expression. Her hands were grabbing at his back, his shoulders, his neck. They were everywhere at once and he couldn't resist leaning in to kiss her. It had been a while since he had made love. Even a longer while that he’s done it that slowly and gently and he loved it. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. It was perfect. He couldn’t ask for more, heck… he didn’t even come near to dreaming this is true.  
He could feel her shuddering beneath him, her abs quivering as another moan escaped her lips. "You're so beautiful… perfect… come for me, Clara," he breathed against her ear. Only moments later she screamed out, her whole body shivering as ecstasy took over and she clenched around him, almost making him lose control as well. He kept moving through her high, peppering her face with kisses and whispering sweet nothings into her ear.  
Covering her mouth with his, Laurence’s hands went exploring her body again. He wanted to touch her all over, brand her, make her his. His own orgasm was approaching quickly and his hand went down towards their joined bodies, set on pushing her over once more. Her moan rumbled through her chest and his, as he found just the right amount of pressure.

 

"Look at me, sweetheart. Look at me." Her eyes opened slowly and she was having difficulty keeping them open at all. "You're gorgeous, Clara." Twisting his hips slightly, he angled them up to find the spot that would make her see stars.  
Her hips bucked into his touch, her eyes rolled back into her head and she screamed out. "Laurence!"  
Not having expected that strong of a reaction, he couldn't hold on any longer either. With a couple of quick, deep thrusts, he came apart with her, moaning incoherently.  
They stayed like that for a while, both trying to catch their breath and calm their racing hearts. After a couple more minutes, he slowly pulled out of her and looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed, her chest rising with every intake of a breath. He shuffled back towards her and kissed her sweaty brow. "Clara?" She just hummed. "Are you alright?" She nodded and turned her head, blindly seeking out his lips. He kissed her gently, stroking through her hair. "How about a shower? I'll wash your back, you wash mine."  
They stepped into the tub and turned on the water, watching the small stream of pinkish water run through the drain. Laurence still couldn’t believe it has happened, it was like a dream. If it was he never wants to wake up from it

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "Did I hurt you?"  
"It hurt a little," she told him truthfully. "But you made it wonderful. It was tender. It was everything that making love should be. Thank you, Laurence."  
His heart fluttered at her words and he hugged her to him, walking them under the warm spray of water. "Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot to me."  
She gave him a brilliant smile and then started washing his chest, placing a kiss in the middle of it.  
He was finished before her and made his way back to the bedroom, waiting for her to blow dry her hair and busying himself cleaning up after them.  
She was still very much naked when she emerged from the room and Laurence couldn't help but grin brightly. "What?"  
"Nothing."  
"you could have waited for me you know? I could have done it" She asked, watching him change the sheets.

 

"It’s quite alright. I’m used to changing the sheets. A bit domestic if you will, I hope you don’t mind." He fluffed the pillows and then motioned for her to settle into the bed. He followed behind and pulled the covers over their bodies, pulling her to him. "Where are my manners? May I stay the night?"  
She broke into laughter, swatting at his chest. "You're a dork, Laurence." His boyish grin set butterflies free in her tummy. Kissing him deeply, she scooted even closer and put her head on his chest. "G'night."  
He sighed and buried his nose in her hair. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

 

It was still a little bit longer before he felt sleep overtook him. He was terrified that in the morning she would regret what had happened. He can’t lose her, not after this. He has already accepted that he’s fallen for her. Instinctively, he wrapped herself tighter in his arms, afraid that if he ever lets her go, she’ll be gone.  
Clara could sense that he was still awake, and listened as he gently sung her to sleep.  
“I have the ring that needs your finger  
I want you always to remember  
I want you to be a part of my dreams  
I was so lonely here without you  
I was so cold just like a statue  
Being with you has made me complete

I can feel your loving touch inside me  
I can hear you whispering you want to stay close to me

Every day and every night  
I never thought your love could feel so right  
Every day and through the night  
Let me be the one to hold you tight  
I can't let go  
I can't let go  
I can't let go  
You're a part of me, don't you know

Would you give me just a lifetime  
I'll stand beside you through the years that come and go  
Nothing at all could stand in our way

I can feel your answer deep inside me  
I can hear you whispering you want to stay close to me

Every day and every night  
I never thought your love could feel so right  
Every day and through the night  
Let me be the one to hold you tight  
I can't let go  
I can't let go  
I can't let go  
You're a part of me, don't you know”

 

her heart ached for him when he placed the most loving kisses on her head as he whispered “Stay, please tell me you’ll stay…” thinking that she is asleep, he let the tears fall down till a drop fell on her shoulder. 

 

That night Clara made a promise that she would stay with him; let him know he was wanted, and loved. She’ll never treat him the way his wife did, pretending she’s already asleep she turned around and hugged him tight and buried her face on his chest. She felt his hands tightening around her and she smiled before feeling him drift off to sleep when a low purr escaped him, she drifted off too.


	10. Easy Like Sunday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just Sunday fluff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there were no updates for the last two days... got caught up in the enrollment fiasco and stuff haha lol!!

CHAPTER 10: “Easy Like Sunday Morning”

Sunday morning dawned and Clara woke to feel Laurence wrapped around her still. His breathing was still even which means he was still asleep. She sighed with a smile contented with the warmth that was coming from his body. He was like a living blanket wrapped around her small frame, all comfy and warm. She snuggled deeper into his embrace and heard him make a small hum of delight and pulling her even closer to his chest. Clara smiled and succumbed to the call of sleep, dozing off in his loving arms.

A few hours later, Laurence found himself trapped between weights on his chest that wouldn't allow him to get up. He felt surprise and craned his neck to see a better look of Clara lying across his chest still fast asleep. Her arm was draped across his torso while his left arm rested on her waist and the other around her shoulder. Slowly, her breathing changed and he knew she was waking. Feeling bold enough to do so, he placed a kiss on her temple letting it linger. "Good morning my love..." That made Clara smile; over the last few months of being just more than friends, little bumps on the road, and last night; she’s glad that he’s finally come to his senses that a girl like her could love a man like him. And hearing him call her that she is “his love” , she couldn't help but to smile at him. She snuggled in closer burying her face in his warm chest and humming in delight. "Mmmhmm, good morning hunny..." 

She said reaching up to kiss his neck and letting her head down gently back on his chest. Laurence was still surprised by her affections, but his heart soared with joy. He let himself have a small smile before kissing her forehead tenderly; "it's raining..." He whispered softly, Clara looked out the window and gave a small chuckle "well done Sherlock..." She teased, making him laugh "you're in a very playful mood today my dear..." She giggled and buried her face deeper into the crook of his neck, draping her leg across his making him in audibly gasp, nonetheless hummed in delight, "mmhhmm... I could stay here all curled up with you sweetheart..." Clara giggled and hugged him even closer if that were possible "I'd like that too...it's we still have tomorrow to ourselves…I’m not willing to share you with anyone.” She looked up at him and gave him a wink "hmm...is my Darling pet suddenly possessive?” He said nuzzling into her hair "yeah...I’m a cuddle bug too you know, but I’m a very possessive cuddle bug...I do share, just not my man…" She said nuzzling into him deeper receiving a hum of approval "I think I might just do the same, don’t I? Don’t want you to go knocking over your head and realize that you don’t want to be with me..." He said kissing her temple "Mmhm...so not gonna happen." She said in return and kissed his chest, then his neck "I'd love to stay just like this...you're comfy and warm..." She giggled a bit "I think I'd love that...staying here all cozy and cuddled up with you..." Laurence teased her back. 

After a few more hours of cuddling and talking, Clara’s appetite decided to let the whole world know that it needs petting. Laurence chuckled and kissed the top of her head, then her forehead, to her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. “why don’t we get up and I’ll see what I can make for breakfast while you take a shower?” he asked with a smile on his face. Clara returned the smile and kissed his lovingly; “trying to spoil me now, aren’t you Mr. Barker? First changing the sheet, and now cooking me breakfast…” she teased and he laughed; “it’s the least I can do…for you” he wanted to say so much more than that, but decided that it was enough for now.

“tell you what…” Clara said, “my dad left a bathrobe here, why don’t you wear that first so that I can get your clothes into the wash, yea?” Laurence hesitated for a bit before answering, “if it’s not too much to impose?” he asked and she smiled; “of course not…” and so Clara Oswald stepped out of the bed in her birthday suit and puttered around the room, picking up his discarded garments to be put in the wash and purposefully swaying her bum as she walked to the bathroom for her shower.  
Clara could feel his eyes glued to her as she paraded around the room with not a piece of clothing on her body. She smiled knowing how much of his attention she could get, but she wouldn’t use it to her advantage. Not at the moment, at least.

Laurence felt himself hardening from under the sheets just seeing Clara putter around the room, with absolutely not a stich of clothing on. Shaking himself out of his thoughts; he grabbed the robe and donned it on. After making the bed and hearing the shower running, he mentally willed himself not to burst through that door and take her in the bathroom. “breakfast.” He muttered to himself before running down the steps and to the kitchen and indeed makes breakfast.

Rummaging through her fridge he found some eggs, a carton of milk, bacon, a few spices, and some vegetables. He decided to make something special out of these ingredients he found. Putting the kettle on he noticed the dark clouds cascading over the sky; it seems that the rain will be staying a while.  
Turning off the tap, and putting on her robe, Clara smiled when she saw that the bed was already made. She walked down the stairs to see what was going on in her kitchen when she heard him singing

“Sunday morning rain is falling  
Steal some covers share some skin  
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable  
You twist to fit the mold that I am in

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew  
That someday it would lead me back to you  
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave”

Clara couldn’t help but to smile as she watched him putter around in the kitchen chopping up veg, and meat, to go with eggs that were in the bowl.  
She hoped that she could always see him this happy, he looked a lot better when happy… and she was going to make it a point to make him happy, now that he’s with her.  
Leaning on the kitchen arch, she crossed her arms around her chest as she listen to him sing and bop his head to the accapella tune

 

“Fingers trace your every outline  
Paint a picture with my hands  
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm  
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave”  
He really did have a good voice and Clara couldn’t help but to bop her head to the invisible tune as well. He was so in tune that he hardly noticed her standing there, not that she mind at all, seeing him in all his glory, and element.

 

“But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you  
Singing Sunday it'll bring me back to you  
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know

 

That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning and I sometimes want to leave.”

When he finished the song she decided that her presence should be well enough recognized. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his skinny waist. He really needs to eat more, she thought. He was nothing but skin and bones, and she liked a man with some meat on their bones. He was a bi startled by the arms that wrapped themselves around his waist and jumped a bit “You really do love singing don’t you?” she asked and he turned around to face her “how long have you been there?” he asked a bit confused, she smiled knowing that he really didn’t see her there… “Long enough to hear you sing the whole song…” 

Clara giggled when she saw him blushed a bright shade of pink and pulled him down to kiss her. “It’s alright… I love to hear you sing. I love seeing you in your element, and all happy. He smiled and kissed her forehead “You make me happy…” he said before turning around and dropping the ingredients in the pan  
“I hope you like, Omelets?” Clara smiled and put out two mugs for the coffee “I don’t know how to cook much, so yeah I love almost everything…this makes it special because you cooked it.” Laurence snorted and carried on cooking.

“I think you haven’t heard of this one…” he said as he finished plating up their food and putting it on the table; “what’s this?” Clara asked “that, my love is “omurice” omelet and rice…” he said proudly before putting a dollop of Greek yoghurt on top and some scallions for garnish “dig in…” he said. Clara marveled at the wonder before her, and took out her phone to take a picture of it, making it last forever. She heartily dug into her food and reached out to pat his shoulder: "wow... This is good..." She said taking another bite, ignoring the smug smile on his face.

Seeing that the day was becoming clearer and the clouds becoming brighter, Laurence thought of taking Clara out for the day; looking out the window, Laurence smiled and hollered to her; “what do you think about going out with me today?” he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Clara showing up with an armful of his clothes, handing them to him, she asked “out where?” she asked, “out somewhere… it’s still early, we’ll make it just in time, and besides the sky’s cleared up.”  
Clara scrunched up her nose, and looked into his pleading eyes; hoping that she’d say yes… in the end she relented. “Okay…surprise me.” Laurence smiled and kissed her, “if you’d allow me to use your shower and dress, we can leave after…”  
Clara crossed her arms across her chest and teased him “payment is due…” she said and he raised a brow in confusion. She smiled and pointed to her cheeks, signing a kiss. Laurence smiled and kissed her cheeks, and then her lips “is that enough payment?” she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, “Nope… that would be enough.”  
Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

"You ready for our date?" Laurence asks asks.  
Clara nods, smiling. "Oh yes," she says.  
Laurence had called in the night before when he went here if all goes well, he wanted to borrow Rory’s car just for day, Rory and Amy agreed without so much as a fuss. Laurence was thankful they let him borrow the car  
. They drive for a little while and then Clara lets out a gasp as she sees the sudden change in landscape. She presses herself against the window and starts laughing. "You like?" Laurence asks as he turns to find a parking spot.  
"Oh my God. Laurence, I haven't been to a fair since I was little. Dad stopped making me go when I hit 14, when I thought I was too cool to hang out with my dad at the pier. We used to have one every summer. That was our thing, we used to go every year," Clara laments.  
"Glad you like it," Laurence says wrapping his arm around her neck and leading her towards the gate. Clara looks around at all the sounds and lights, smiling. Just a few days ago, she didn’t know where they were heading but now... she wouldn’t have it any other way  
"What's first?" Clara asks looking up at Laurence.  
"Whatever you want love," he tells her.

 

The next few hours were spent walking around, riding the occasional ride, and playing the occasional game. She had handed the toys and stuffed animals off to little kids, that either she or Laurence had won. She didn't need the mementos, she had her memories and that was good enough.  
Clara points to a vendor who was selling cotton candy. Laurence pulls out his wallet and bought her one of that fluffy goodness.

 

"I haven't had this stuff in years. It's sweeter than I remember, though," she licks her fingers before offering a bite to Laurence, who was staring at her, a glazed look on his face. She leans up and gives him a kiss, letting him taste the sweetness on her lips. Laurence pulls back grinning, and he offers her a drink of his water and she takes it while offering, once again, him a piece of cotton candy. He leans forward slightly, taking the cotton candy into his mouth, giving her fingers a lick as well, making Clara shudder at the sensation.  
"Laurence, win me something and then..." she trails off, while she leans up and brings her mouth to his ear, "take me home."  
He tugs her to the nearest booth and wins her a stuffed bear that's holding a heart between its paws. A heart that says 'I wuv you beary much'. Clara wraps her arms around him, bringing him flush again her as she leans up and kisses him.

 

"I think its time to go…” Laurence says slightly breathless, wrapping his arm around Clara and guiding her toward the exit.  
Clara knew things weren't going to be easy. She knew they were going to face a lot of obstacles. They had colleagues and bosses to deal with. And even though they hadn't physically told each other 'I love you' it was there. More pronounced than ever after the last couple of days. She knew that they would come out stronger on the other side. And that, that gave her peaceful feeling.

 

During the day, at the school as Ms. Oswald, English Teacher and Mr. Barker music teacher. But at the end of the day, they will just be Clara and Laurence, two people in love and she was fine with that.


	11. "Falling Slowly"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff...fluff...fluff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading... there's just a few left.

CHAPTER 11: “Falling Slowly”

The next week, they tried not to look or act any different from how they used to. if the other teachers knew there was something more to them, they didn’t say; but the children had different opinions though; Well, Laurence’s student’s that is.

They had spent the whole week taunting and teasing him (in a less annoying manner). They would flash hearts and teasing but knowing smiles whenever they’d see them together. And Laurence would try to mock glare at them but in the end still managed to smile at them.

Clara was glad Laurence was taking a few initiatives in their relationship. He would hold her hand when they were walking together. Walk her to her classroom after lunch, and would kiss her forehead affectionately. He would always send her messages before she goes to sleep, and first thing in the morning. She didn’t feel smothered at all, in fact she felt loved. More than she was loved before. She still couldn’t see how his wife couldn’t love a man like him. She shrugged her shoulders and brushed off the thought; that woman didn’t know what she had given away.

On Friday morning when Clara got to her classroom she was pleasantly surprised to find Laurence sitting on the edge of her desk. She smiled and said, "Good morning, Laurence. To what do I owe the pleasure? Oh you got me coffee. You're are wonderful. Thank you." She kissed his cheek easily seeing sitting on her desk he was almost the same height as her. She watched his cheeks turn pink and kissed his other cheek and laughed as they turned an even deeper shade of pink.

Laurence had stopped to get both of them coffee on the way in and was surprised when Clara was later than usual but very glad when she finally showed up. When she kissed his cheek he was a little embarrassed but happy. He was still a little bit hesitant sometimes when it comes to touching. He noticed she was waiting for him to say something and finally stammered, "Clara? Uh....Would you like to...um do something...with me on Saturday?"

Clara watched him rubbing his thumbs over the tops of her hands and replied, "I promised my dad and gran I'd visit them on Saturday." She heard a sharp intake of breath and realized he thought she was blowing him off by the crestfallen look on his face.

Laurence whispered, "Fine. No problem. Maybe next weekend then." He went to stand up but Clara stood in his way and wouldn't let go of his hands. He really wanted to go, because he really felt a little bit embarrassed now; the last thing he wants to be is a clingy boyfriend to her. He hoped she wasn't blowing him off but it sounded a bit like one.  
Clara said, "I wasn't blowing you off, Laurence. No don't say it. I know that was what you were thinking. I could see it written all over your face. I promised them for a couple of weeks now I'd find the time to drop in on them. You know...You could come with me."

Laurence choked, "Why?"

Clara coaxed him to look at her and replied, "Because first of all you're my friend. Second you're my boyfriend, if in case no one had told you, yeah? I want to spend time with you and want you to meet my family. Besides I really like spending time with you, and I tend to miss you when you’re away especially when I know that you could’ve been there. I've gotten rather attached to you. After we go see them then we can go do something fun." She was now caressing his cheek with her palm flat against his cheek.

He took her hand that was on his cheek and kissed it lovingly. “I’m not sure I’m ready to meet your family, love. I’m really sorry, it’s just…I haven’t been in this place for a while; it’s like something new to me. If this works well between us, I would want to meet them, I promise.” He said in a low loving whisper.

Clara sighed and kissed his cheek lovingly; “alright, but they will be here for my birthday, I would like or you to be there, and maybe meet them…” Laurence nodded and smiled “Aye, boss…” 

As much as he would want to meet them, he’s afraid of what their reaction was going to be. They might think that he’s just an old geezer that has gotten a relationship with their daughter through blackmail. He was just glad Clara didn’t judge him for how his past life has “ended”. He sighed and looked down on his watch. Seeing the time was almost 8:00 he needed to go and teach his class. “as much as I want to stay here with you love, I’ve a class to teach and so do you. The wee pudding brains will be here any minute now, and I don’t want them to see Ms. Oswald canoodling with Mr. Barker…” he said and she giggled. She pulled him to her and kissed his lips tenderly and lovingly; “I’ll see for lunch, yeah?” she said and he nodded “Aye, you’re the boss, Lassie.”

He placed a final kiss to her forehead before lifting himself up and started walking towards the door. Before he exited, he turned around to the sound of his name when Clara called out to him; “Laurence?” she said and he turned around a confuse look on his face; “Yeah?” he asked “I’d love to spend Sunday with you…” she said with a smile, and she saw a beaming smile appeared on his face; “that sounds lovely, meet me after church?” he asked and Clara nodded “after church, you have me all to yourself.” She said and giggled when she saw that he was blushing again.

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

Clara met Laurence after church and kissed him soundly; “I missed you…” she whispered and he smiled “I missed you too…” Clara kissed him one more time before pulling him by the hand as they walked out of the church grounds; “so what’s the plan?” she asked beaming. Laurence smiled and hailed a cab and smiled as he opened the door for her; “first we drop by my home, and we grab the basket I prepped for picnic…” Clara smiled at her and continued before he could “…and I’ve secured myself a car too…” he smiled and Clara smiled as well but a bit confused “really?” she asked happily; Laurence nodded and continued “it’s not much, but it’s a start. It’s a secondhand blue, Mazda 2. The deal was well so I bought it, and little by little I’ll be able to pay for it with the money that I’m earning, and a little elbow grease to make ends meet.” He said and was surprised when Clara jumped up on him and threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you…” she said and kissed him on the lips; “and I’m very proud too…” Laurence smiled and kissed her gently; “thank you…” he whispered.

Reaching his flat and grabbed what they needed before heading out for the rest of the day. They drove to the nearest park and looked for a spot where they can spend the day together. They decided to sit under the grand oak tree that was unoccupied with the view of people going on about and children playing. 

Laurence laid down the tartan blanket he packed and emptied the basket when they sat down. He packed a few pieces of sandwiches, cakes, apples and cheeses, cold cuts, scones and pies, and two thermoses filled with tea and coffee. Clara was impressed with how much food he brought for the two of them. “Wow, this is aplenty and enough to feed an army…” she said with a smile. Laurence chuckled and smiled; “I didn’t know what to bring so I decided on a bit of everything before I packed the basket before I went to church this morning.

Clara enjoyed spending time with Laurence. He was so easy to be with; he had an almost carefree attitude outside of work, and stress. She wished she could always see him like this, all laid back and just happy. Laurence reached forward and grabbed his guitar as he leaned on the old oak tree.  
Plucking a few melodies he began to sing, as Clara rested her head on his shoulder listening to him

“I don't know you  
But I want you  
All the more for that  
Words fall through me  
And always fool me  
And I can't react  
And games that never amount  
To more than they're meant  
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice  
You've made it now”

Somehow, Clara knew Laurence was singing this to himself more than to her, but the message was clearly all for her. They were both indeed falling slowly for each other, fast and hard. Clara knew that she gravitated to him that first moment she saw him; while Laurence on the other hand was letting her stir his own ship home.

“Falling slowly, eyes that know me  
And I can't go back  
Moods that take me and erase me  
And I'm painted black  
You have suffered enough  
And warred with yourself  
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice  
You've made it now  
Falling slowly sing your melody  
I'll sing along”

For Laurence, having Clara in his life means no going back. He can’t undo his past but he’s looking forward for a new chapter that includes him and her. She looked up at him and smiled; Yes, she’ll be his new home.  
“That was beautiful…” she said instead and he smiled putting down his guitar; but Clara had other thoughts; “how about singing it again?” she asked and he laughed a little “I’ve a better idea, how about I teach it to you instead, yeah?”  
He ushered Clara to sit in front of him and for her to hold the guitar. Slowly and carefully, he placed her small fingers on each of the string that he needed her to make the “C” chord, and the other hand to pluck which string.  
Clara loved the way his hand was so much cooler than hers. She seated herself comfortably that her back was flushed against his chest and his chin hooked on her shoulders as his voice rumbled soft instructions to her ear, regarding what to do next. One of his hands landed on her waist while the other rested on the neck of the guitar.

“I’m not getting this…” she turned to him pouting. Laurence pouted back at her and she smiled softly. He readjusted the guitar and her position so he could reach for both her hands better. Laurence slowly guided her hands over the chords as they played the song.

Clara couldn’t help the butterflies that were resting her belly as his voice softly rumbled in her ear as he sang softly. She leaned her head further back against his shoulder and savored the moment. How he smelled and felt how perfectly they fitted together. She loved how he smelled; his scent of old music sheets, ink, sandalwood, tea, and his manly aftershave and a certain scent that was all his. She loved feeling his heart beating against her back, she felt safe, and alive around him. Clara Oswald was utterly in love.

She had been so distracted from her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed when he stopped and started nuzzling her neck, leaving small kisses on her neck and shoulders. She turned a little more and captured his lips in a small kiss.

“why don’t you say we drop by my place for an overnight bag, then back to yours so we can spend the rest of the day together?” she whispered against his lips. “Auuh…” was all he could do to answer before kissing her passionately; “Let’s go…” she said as she broke the kiss, stood up and held her hand out to him.

 

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

 

“I love you.”  
Laurence, wearing his holey jumper and his tartan cotton pants, was halfway of putting the steaming pasta into his mouth, which Clara had made after they had noticed they both were very hungry after making love when they got home to his place, stopped with everything and looked at her with wide open eyes. She leaned against the counter, digging in her own spaghetti, with a cautious smile, before shrugging slightly with one of her shoulders and shoving the spoon in her mouth as if she just had made a remark over the taste of the food  
He wished she had said “I love spaghetti, instead…” but she didn’t.

 

“Did you…?”

 

“Yes,” she laughed nervously, and when he made no intention of saying something she went on. “I know… it’s not the best moment... maybe. But hear me out. I mean it. I really do. I love you. Not a very romantic moment over eating gluggy spaghetti, but I think I shouldn’t have said it earlier because then you would have thought, I had said it in a haze or something, and you would maybe think, that I didn’t mean it. But I do and I said that already, and I just wanted you to know. And I thought about saying it later, but why wait, when I am sure and now I don’t know what to say, and I am babbling and would you please interrupt me before I -”  
“- And breathe.”

 

Clara took in a deep breath, “Thanks, and sorry.”  
He placed his plate aside, stepping up to her and waited till she had placed her plate onto the counter, “Clara, I-”  
“-No, don’t say you love me.”  
One of his eyebrows rocketed sky high and Clara smirked over the confused face he made. “I was not planning on saying - yet, but… don’t you want me to say it?”  
“I mean, don’t say it when you feel obliged. Don’t say the words, only because I said it, and you think you have to pay me back,” she fumbled with the hem of his jumper. “It’s not that I do not believe you, but please, only say it when you truly mean it and you are sure. Because I couldn’t take the disappointment, as I don’t want you to be disappointed…again.”

 

“I would never disappoint you,” he made her face him and as an answer she threw herself around him, pressing her cheeks against his chest, listening to his heart. “When the time comes that I can say it to you, then I will…but for now; Mi ghadh thu, mo chroi, mi gradh thu.”  
She hugged him tighter and buried her face to his chest; “I’ll hold on to that… and to those words. I know what they mean, Amy says it all the time to Rory…I’ll wait for that day, I’ll never tire. And I’ll remind you too every day that I do love you.”  
Her words had surprised him, it was nothing he had expected from her. Clara, the woman that liked control, gave in, with words with such meaning. Holding her in his arms, he sensed, she might have known why he can’t say the words just yet, but she was willing to wait. And he was more than persistent to try and say those words to her. If he couldn’t tell her just yet, he would just have to prove her; now was the time to prove that action speaks louder than words.  
“Your heart,” she then whispered. “It beats so strong like there are two of it.”  
He smirked over her remark, taking her chin in his hand to make her face him, “That’s impossible, but I like the thought of it.” It was her who made his heart beat fast and hard and he couldn’t tell her, not now. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?”  
“Everything,” he kissed her and Clara shoved her fingers under his jumper what made him jump and squeal a bit. “for such a warm and loving person, you my love have very, very cold hands.”  
They spend the rest of the evening making love once more…or twice. Before they finally fell sated in the arms of another feeling so much loved than they had never been before.


	12. "I'll Have to Say..."I Love You"..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I guess i'll have to say "i love you" in a song :D  
> inspired by that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im putting up a spotify playlist for this one :D

CHAPTER 12: “”I’ll Have to Say, “I Love You”…”

Laurence smiled as he listened to Clara laugh next to him. It was like music to his ears; especially when he never thought he’d fall in love again. It was usually a chore to get his wife smile before. Her laugh was infectious, and he didn’t mind that it wasn’t directed at him, but at the play that they were watching. The school wanted to do something nice for both the students and their teacher, so the movie night at the nearby park was perfect. Laurence was reluctant to go but Clara almost pleaded with him, telling him that it won’t be the same without him, so in the end he relented.

He never could say no to her.

So here they were; sitting on a thick blanket with hundreds of adults and rambunctious kids waiting for the movie to begin on the large, makeshift screen in front of them. The sky barely tinged pink as the blackness of nighttime began to overtake them, resulting in the air cooling quickly to the point where they all had to pull their jackets on.

He loved her. He hadn’t at the beginning when he’d first seen her after their meeting at the station, but time went by and feelings grew. She knew how he felt, he just hasn’t voiced out those three words yet, and yet she already has told him countless times.  
Laurence shifted to stretch out his arthritic left knee which caused his shoulders to brush hers. She stopped talking to the co-teacher she was chatting with and asked if he was alright. He nodded, but she could see the discomfort he was starting feel. She placed a hand on his knee and started to massage it and smiled at him, before turning back to the teacher she was speaking with while massaging his knee.

He smiled and squeezed her shoulder in thanks; instead of moving away, Clara made her self comfortable and leaned into him, and he shuffled closer to let her lean on him. Laurence was starting to get bored but wouldn’t want to ruin the night for Clara so he stayed quiet, but he couldn’t imagine the movie helping.

Finally after five long minutes, the flood lights surrounding them shut off, and the projector lit up and began to play the movie. He watched as the Disney theme song played and the blue castle appeared on the screen. He leaned in closer and whispered close to her ear; “What movie are they showing, love?”  
She turned towards him, finally finished with conversation and smiled. He could tell because her white teeth glinted in the soft light from the screen. “Why? Bored already?” she was making fun of him.

He tilted his head and traced a finger lightly over her cheek, then tucked her hair behind her ear so he could see her entire face. “No, I was just curious…”  
She leaned in closer, their faces inches apart, as she tried to see his expression in the dark. She laughed a little and placed a chaste kiss to his lips and whispered to him; “Peter Pan. Ever seen it?”

He glanced at the screen and saw that it was indeed Peter Pan, then looked back and raised his eyebrows. “I’ve never had the pleasure.” His voice was full of sarcasm, and he knew she could tell immediately that he was being a smart-ass.  
Clara punched his thigh lightly and shook her head, then moved her body closer, leaving no space between them.

He sat back on his hands with both legs stretched out and resigned himself to watch the movie. Maybe he could take a little nap.  
Fifteen minutes into the movie and his eyes were beginning to droop. Maybe besides having the occasional sleepover with Clara, a movie is what he needed to get a good night’s sleep; but not just any movie, Disney movies. He must’ve drifted off, because next thing he knew was her body is pressing to his side and was blowing in his ear.  
His eyes shot open and he moved his head away so she would stop. “Clara,” he whispered a bit warningly.  
She huffed a quiet laugh and whispered back, “Stay awake. It hasn’t been twenty minutes…”  
Laurence yawned and ran the hand that wasn’t behind her rump over his face and messy curls. “I’m old. This is what old people do…” he said in a low voice.

She squeezed his upper thigh, entirely too close to his groin and said “Shut, up Laurence. You’re not-“ but she was cut off by one of their students, Beth.  
“Shh… the best parts are about to begin Ms. Oswald… and you better let Mr. Barker sleep. Don’t want him to have a tantrum now…” she said to them, and Laurence raised his brow;  
“No plus for you on the next quiz, young lady.” Beth just smiled and turned back to the movie.  
Clara sighed and just sunk into his embrace. He tightened his fingers and stroked her bare skin with the thumb that found its way under the bottom of her jacket and beneath the hem of her shirt. She hummed and turned her face into his neck and inhaled, then exhaling slowly; her warm breath tickling his sensitive skin.

They sat that way for a long while until he couldn’t feel his lower half anymore; he was loathe to move though, because he was enjoying their cuddling entirely too much. So he endured the discomfort and instead began to place feather light kisses in her hair and on her temple to distract himself. She moved her head a little and kissed his Adam’s apple, the moved her free arm to wrap around his waist. 

He decided to take a chance and pulled her back slightly so he could see her face. Before she could even ask, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her softly, sliding his lips over hers for a few moments before pulling back and leaning his forehead against hers. He wanted more, but not with hundreds of impressionable children around.  
“Laurence,” she whispered as she moved the hand that was wrapped around his waist to his chest and placed it over his heart.  
He heeded to tell her how he felt. She needed to know that she wasn’t to wait a lifetime for her to hear him say those words. He kissed her cheek, and then moved his lips to her ear against her skin. “Clara, I need you to know. I lo-“

He was cut off the by all of the kids simultaneously screaming. They jumped apart like teenagers who were caught making out, and Laurence looked at the screen to see that Tiger Lily was captured by Captain Hook and Peter Pan had come to save her. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. What a lousy timing. Just his luck.  
Clara leaned back towards him and said quietly, “What were you going to say?”  
He smiled and reached over to lace his fingers with hers. “I was just going to say, I had a great time with you tonight. I’ve really enjoyed myself.”  
He could tell she didn’t believe him. “Laurence-“

He cut her off by letting go of her hand and moving on to all fours. He looked back and smiled at her; “I can’t feel my ass,” he whispered; just loud enough for her to hear.  
She laughed and leaned back on her hands, then back to the movie. The moment was gone. Dropping off Clara by her place, and kissing her goodnight; Laurence realized he hadn’t felt this way in so long, suddenly Clara made him feel like a teenager asking a girl to his first prom. It was a foreign feeling; he didn’t like it. He needed to tell her.

Xoxo—xox—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

After that night at the movies, Laurence was trying so hard to tell her the three illusive words, but they just keep getting away. Its either him losing his bollocks, getting unceremoniously interrupted or just can’t say it. But he didn’t stop there, he told her in every other way possible. But he knew, he KNEW he had to tell her soon, before she goes off believing that he didn’t love her back…or worse, at all.  
Of the two of them, she was the first to say 'I love you'. Laurence had to admit to being somewhat surprised. Over that gluggy spaghetti, her wearing his discarded shirt, and him in his Tartan parts, not at all that romantic.

 

Not surprised that she felt that way about him. He'd known for quite some time that she loved him. Mostly because every so often, and with increasing frequency, Clara would get this look. This twinkling-eyed, close-lipped smiling, deeply secretive kind of a look. It would always let him know whenever she was finding him utterly adorable. She still gets that look. Laurence loves that look. He can't get enough of that look. Whenever he sees it, it never fails to remind him how immensely he adores her back.

What surprises him though is not that Clara loves him or Clara saying she loves him, but the moments that Clara verbalizes that feeling. Like when they were just sharing lunch at the cafeteria, or her just texting him “I love you, in case you forget.” For instance. Or when he brings her lunch at her desk on an especially hectic day when everyone right down to the janitor has been giving her grief. Or when he takes her to see a Three Stooges film on a rainy Sunday afternoon, wraps her up in his scarf and lets her eat the last of his Goobers. It's in these small, outwardly insignificant, often food-related moments that the words seem to just fly out of her mouth. It always occurs at the most random, unpredictable times - as though not even she can help but allow them to escape. That's what he loves about it. The spontaneity. The urgency. The honesty. It's so very Clara Oswald. And he loves Clara Oswald. Even if he finds it slightly difficult in such moments to respond in a way that shows her how much.

 

It's not that Laurence is unused to or uneasy with such weighty words. Truth be told, over the years, he’s said it over and over to his wife to let her know that he LOVES her. But with that experience, he found that those three little words could often be used as a tool, frequently meant to seduce or bargain or excuse or enthrall or even, wound. Rarely were they freely given. And if they were, they were not truly meant. He wasn’t guilty for not saying a false “I love you” he rarely gives it, and when he does, he means it. But he was scared, still so scared, but he knows, he will heal…soon.

It's not that the words come more easily to Clara than they might to other people, to other women. It's more that she possesses so little filter between what goes on in her brain and what comes out of her mouth. Neither is it that they come less easily to Laurence than in the past. It's just that they mean more now. Infinitely more. In fact, being with Clara, loving Clara as fundamentally as he does, has made him realize just how untruthful all those former I love you’s really were. Which is why he stops - can never help himself - whenever those words blurt from her mouth. 

 

Because Laurence never wants to give her an answer that seems in any way perfunctory or disingenuous or contrived. Sometimes - just to make sure she truly understands what she means to him - he'll reply with “I adore you”. Rather than the blander alternatives of “I love you too” or “me too”. Once he even came out with another phrase many men generally avoid. Clara laughed out loud at his “Will you marry me?” Then, after she finished laughing, she mused: "Yeah, probably. One day." It was a joke, yes. But her answer made him hope.

More than once when she told him she loved him, Laurence responded by telling her he wanted to make love to her. Then proceeded to do so. Enthusiastically and at length. That's generally the way it goes. This time, however, they have just finished making love.

They have just completed a very satisfying round of early morning weekend sex - his favourite sort, incidentally. They are in the kitchen, Clara is sitting at the counter in his striped pyjama top when he brings her, her first coffee of the day, just the way she likes it. Clara gives him her twinkly-eyed look and tells him she loves him.

 

Laurence's response this time, is: "You look pretty."  
Clara snorts. She shakes her head at her coffee cup before peering at him over the rim. "You've run out of ways to say I love you back. Haven't you?"  
"I'll never run out of ways," he says with a confident tilt of the head.

"You have," she insists laughingly.  
Laurence plants his hands on the counter top, leans in close. "You're glowing-"  
She picks up a banana from his fruit bowl and tears into it. "That's from having to make love with you," she points out.  
His eyes run over her. "Your hair is a mess-"

She nods. "Bed hair, early romp hair."  
"Even with your mouth full-"  
"Hungry-" she mutters, banana rolling round in her mouth: "From all the loving last night, and this morning."

"You've never looked prettier," he tells her, certain he's giving her a twinkly-eyed look of his own.  
Clara swallows her mouthful, eyes him for a moment in silence. "You know...you can just say I love you too, Clara. There's nothing wrong with that."  
Laurence smiles. Eventually, he murmurs: "I love you too, Clara Oswald."

Clara smiles back. Kisses him. "I know."  
And the moment couldn’t have been any better.


	13. I'd Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just fluff, bit of angst, a song, and a poem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's one of my fave songs, and poems :D

CHAPTER 13: “I’d Be There”

After a few months into their relationship, Laurence has decided to finally take a step forward and into the future with Clara. He has started to gather the documents needed so that he can finally file for a divorce from Ellen. Truth be told, he was surprised she hasn’t done anything about it; now all was left was how to tell this to Clara.

It was turning out to be a lazy Sunday afternoon; Clara was lounging on the couch, her nose stuck in a book, while she cradled a dozing Laurence, who was pillowing her breasts, while his arms were wrapped around her waist. Clara smiled down at him and ran a hand on his soft curls; looking at them now, she never thought they’d go this far, she was just glad that Laurence gave his heart the chance to love again. She placed a tender kiss on his head, and she felt him burrow deeper into her warm embrace.

Laurence had already bought his train ticket to Midsomer. He’d complied with the requirements to file for a divorce, and the reason was really just indifference. Now he was going back to get things settled and wrap them all up to be packed and placed in the past, it’s the only way to move forward. His train was leaving tomorrow at 10 am. He had already told the head teacher that he was taking a leave of absence for two weeks at the most. Now he just needed the right words to tell her so.

Clara kept running her fingers through his hair, she knew he wasn’t sleeping, and she can hear the gears turning in his head. “Hey…” she said softly as she tapped his shoulder. Laurence didn’t move an inch knowing that Clara noticed that something was a bit off. “Hey…” she tried again, this time trying to push him off her just enough for him to lift his head. Lifting his head, she looked into a pair of slightly worried brown eyes, “You okay?” she asked running her hand down his cheek. Laurence smiled and pecked her on the lips; “Yeah, I’m fine…more than fine.” He said, lowering his head back onto her breasts.

“What’s on your mind?” Clara said and settled her chin atop his head. Laurence sighed, there wasn’t any more time left, he needed to tell her now. “Well, here goes…” he thought. “What do you want in the future?” he asked and she furrowed her brows before asking again, thinking that maybe she had misheard him. “What?” she asked him; Laurence sighed and asked again; “What do you…want…in the future?” he said as his voice trailed softer.

Clara threaded her fingers through his hair and rested her chin on his head; “Well…” she started and thought about it; “I want a family. A loving family; with children, and the man I love, and who loves me just as much.” Laurence nodded a little, and hummed in response. “Do you ever see yourself settling down?” he asked again; Clara thought about his question before answering; “Yes, I do…sometimes. Sometimes I think about settling down, if I find the right man who’d settle down with me.”   
He was quiet for a while, and Clara thought the query was over; but before she could ask questions of her own he spoke again, this time in a quieter tone. “Can you possibly see that with me?” he asked so quietly, he almost whispered. 

Clara lifted his head and kissed his forehead; “Of course I do…” she said with a loving smile and pecked his lips before continuing; “I love you, Laurence;” she sighed “of course I want a future with you…unless you don’t want to?” She placed her hand on his other cheek and asked “Why? Don’t you see a future for us? Do you want one?”

Laurence sat up and kissed her soundly; “I want nothing more than to spend what’s remaining of my life with you, my Clara.” He lifted her hands and kissed them both; “I just fear that YOU can do better. I’m almost twice your age, Clara. I’m 48 for God’s sake; give or take I have another 30-40 years left on me, I’ll still make you a young widow. You’ll be just as old as I am when I die…” he said with a heavy lump in his throat. “And then what?” he asked “Your youth is gone and just wasted away when it shouldn’t have been at all.” He closed his eyes and shook his head “I think it’s not fair on you. You could still find a suitable guy to start a life with, not some old man.”

Clara scooted closer and kissed him; “Maybe I don’t want a younger man. Maybe, I won’t find that suitable guy, maybe I already did. I just want you, don’t you want me?” she asked looking at him straight in the eye, tears prickling the back of her own. 

Laurence swallowed hard and rested her forehead against hers; “Aye, Clara, I do. God help me, but I do. I love you. I love you with everything that I am…that’s why I’m doing this.” She pulled away with and he could see the fear in her eyes and voice as she spoke; “are you leaving me?” Laurence framed her face and kissed her; “I should, but I can’t. I want you to have so much more, but in my old age I have become selfish and I don’t want to let you go. Forgive me, my Clara. Forgive me.”  
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck; “there is nothing to forgive; I love you. I don’t want you to leave…I love you.”

Clara pulled away and framed his face in her small hands. He leaned into the touch and sighed; God, how he loved this beautiful woman in front of him. “Why say all of this, what’s wrong?” she asked. Finally, the cat was out of the bag and he needed to really tell her now.

“I’m going away…” he whispered as he tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “Why?” she asked almost panicking; “Why? Where are you going?” Laurence kissed her softly and smiled; “I want a future with you, and there’s one way I could do that…” he started, while she stared at him, a little confused. “What are you saying?” she found herself asking him; “I’m going back to Midsomer to file for a divorce from my wife.” He said, and her eyes went a little wider. “It’s the only way; I can have a future with you. And I want that Clara. I want that so bad; for you, for me, for us.”

Clara said nothing, but just rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart. “When have you decided all of this?” she asked and he sighed and ran his hands through her soft hair. “It should have been done even back then. She didn’t love me, what was the point?” He found himself asking the question, more for him, than for her. “After all those times, I thought it would change. I thought we could bring back what he had; it turns out, I was the only one working in our marriage.” He sighed and rested his chin atop her head and hugging her gently. “But marriage isn’t a one way street. It’s always a two way street, it’s like you take a responsibility for, because it’s never just about one person, it’s always about the collective, the two.” He found himself saying and she hugged him tighter “Love is a two-way street, and not a one way boulevard. If the traffic doesn’t go your way, then it’s time to pick a better road.” He said with a shrug; “and she already has, even perhaps from the beginning; and I think… I think it’s time I did the same.”

Clara lifted her head and saw the sadness in his eyes. It made her even more determined to wipe that sadness away; she had seen him happy, and she’ll keep him that way. Diving in she kissed him breathlessly, making him clutch onto her, and she, doing the same. When they broke apart she peppered his face with small delicate kisses; “No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share the same umbrella and survive the storm.” She said as she gazed into his eyes and kissed him again. “I can’t promise to fix all of your problems. But I can promise that you’ll never have to face them alone.”

Laurence smiled and hugged her tightly to him; “I can’t promise that I’ll be there for the rest of your life, but I can promise that I’ll love you for the rest of mine.” She felt him burying his nose in her hair so she pulled him up and straddled his waist and kissing him with all the love she has for him; “I will never be good enough for you. I know that.” He said in a hushed tone. Clara smiled and let out her hand for him to take; “Sometimes, you just got to quit thinking too much. If it feels right, it probably is…so just go with it.”

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

That night they laid tangled up in a mess of tangled sheets, arms, and legs. Clara laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and drew stuff on his stomach; “What time do you have to leave?” she asked.

Laurence opened his eyes, and hugged her to him; “10 am. I’ll drop you off at school tomorrow before I leave for the station.” He said quietly, she nodded and continued “do you have your things with you?” she asked “uh-huh…They’re packed up and in the boot of the car.” Clara lifted her head to look at him; “how long will you be gone?” she asked; to Laurence, she sounded like a little girl, and it made him smile. “I’ll be back in around two weeks at the most. A week is long enough, she’ll sign all of this, I’m sure”  
Clara laid her head back on his chest; “I’m gonna miss you.” She whispered, but Laurence really knew she was saying something else. “Hey…” he said, poking at her, but she didn’t budge. “Hey, look at me…” he said, lifting her chin. “I’m going to be here for your birthday, I promise.” Clara smiled and kissed him; “I’m really gonna miss you, you know.” Laurence chuckled; “I’m gonna miss you too squirt.”

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

The next day, Laurence dropped Clara off at the school and she kissed him goodbye; “Take care, okay?” she said with tears beaming in her eyes; throughout their relationship Laurence has never been that far away from her. “If you need me, call me. I don’t care if I’m sleeping…If you’re angry at me… or if I’m having my own problems. If you need me, and you need to talk to me I’ll always be there for you. No matter how big or how small the problem is, I’ll be there, okay?” he reminded her and she nodded and hugged him tight; “Go, you’re gonna be late.” He said, and kissed her one more time; “I love you…” he said with a smile which she returned in kind; “I love you too.”

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

Reaching the inn, Laurence dumped his case and decided to go to Ellen tomorrow. He really didn’t expect to bump into D.I Ben Jones at the train station; but he couldn’t care less if the whole town knew he was back. He wasn’t back for long anyway.

The people at the inn was kind enough not to ask where he had been, or why he had left, but was tired from the trip and dozed off for a little while after taking a shower.  
The room was rather large for his taste. A bit impersonal too, he thinks. Back at home, he wore his birthday suit to bed, mostly because Clara was there. Back at his flat, he wore only boxers, but not this time he thinks; not when he’s alone. This time, he wore a shirt, and some flannel pants; the tartan ones were his favorite.  
The bed was enormous, and he thinks he’ll get lost in it; all the more to remind him that Clara wasn’t there. As soon as his head hit the pillow that night, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next day, he got Ellen to sign the documents, and has found a good lawyer for the two of them. His lawyer says, the processing will be done in no time and he can go back to London, before the week ends. He was so happy, but he didn’t tell Clara just so he might be extended for the other week, she wouldn’t be disappointed. Laurence wanted to go back within the week. Clara’s birthday was this coming Saturday, he’d be there for her, he promised her, and he would be.  
A few days later, Laurence barely registered the sound of his phone beeping in the middle of the night; it was Thursday, a school night, who could it be? He took the phone from the stand, and saw that it was Clara.

 

“Laurence? Are you awake?”  
C. xoxo

 

He sat up on the bed and turned on the light before dialing her number. A few seconds later and the call came through  
“Clara, love?” what’s wrong, love?”  
She was so relieved when she heard his voice; she knew he’d always be there for her, he promised. She was so sad, and happy she choked back a sob.  
“Laurence?” she asked her voice just above a whisper.  
“Clara? What’s wrong love? Why are you crying, hmm? What happened?”  
She clutched the phone to her ear and murmured loud enough for him to hear

“You’re sleeping. I’m sorry… but… but I need to hear your voice; I miss you…I’m sorry…” she said trying not to cry  
Laurence could hear her sniffles and her trembling voice, he could feel her distress. He leaned back on the headboard, and ran a hand down his face. What he wouldn’t give to hold her right now? Tonight he never felt so far away, he felt like he was worlds away from her.  
Speaking softly, he soothed and asked her; “love, tell me what’s wrong. I’m here, yeah? Remember what I told you? I’ll always be here for you… tell me, please…” Clara wiped at her face; “I shouldn’t be keeping you awake, I’m sorry I messaged you…”

Laurence sensed that she was going to cut the line but he tried his best to hold her back. “Clara listen to me… are you there love? What’s wrong, tell me sweetheart.” Clara let the tears fall, sighed and spoke; “Dad…” she started and he hummed “what about him?” he asked. “Dad told me they won’t be here for my birthday because Linda booked a holiday vacation for both of them, and gran can’t come too…I haven’t seen them in so long…Dad told me the last time I saw them, that they’ll come… now they won’t. I miss them…” she cried “and you’re not here, no one’s here… I’m so tired of being alone…” she cried softly; “I don’t want to be clingy, but I miss you… I really miss you, Laurence.” She cried and that brought daggers to his heart; how he wished she could hold her in his arms.  
“Clara, love?” he asked in a sweet soothing voice; “Love, are you there?” he asked “Yeah…” she croaked. “Love, listen to me. C’mon and lay down, with Beary. Lie on my side of the bed, and snuggle up yeah?” he asked her.

He could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone before he heard her sniffing again; “Are you cozy, love?” he asked, his voice like sweet honey, and she loved it. “Yeah…” she croaked again. “I’ll be home in no time, I promise. And you’ll never be alone. I’d be there for you, love. Just you and I …”  
“Okay…” she said just above a whisper “Okay, just lie down snuggle with Beary and my pillow, and just listen to me, okay? Will you listen to me, love?”  
“Yes…” she said in a little voice  
“Laurence?” she asked first  
“Yeah, love?”  
“I love you, so much.”

Laurence began to sing, quietly, lovingly. His words surrounding her; making her feel loved and relieved. She clutched Beary to her chest and made herself comfortable as she dozed to his voice.

“Not a minute goes by, that you ain't on my mind.  
Not a place in my heart, that you don't occupy.  
I miss you.

If I could, I would crawl through the phone.  
Yeah, this drink gets me by, but it don't get me home.  
Are you sleeping? I ain't sleeping.

So I wrote you a song, cause it's been so long.  
Since I looked in your eyes.  
If there was a way I could see you today  
And hold your sweet sweet smile.  
I'd be there, I'd be there  
I'd be there.

I'm watching the clock, but the clock doesn't care.  
I'm the star of the show called, "I wish I was there."  
Babe, I miss you.

And thinking of you puts a smile on my face.  
And it makes me forget that I hate this place.  
I've been dreaming.  
But I still ain't sleeping.

So I wrote you a song, cause it's been so long.  
Since I looked in your eyes.  
If there was a way I could see you today  
And hold your sweet sweet smile.  
I'd be there, I'd be there  
I'd be there.

Not a minute goes by, that you ain't on my mind.  
Not a place in my heart, that you don't occupy.  
I miss you.

So I wrote you a song, cause it's been so long.  
Since I looked in your eyes.  
If there was a way I could see you today  
And hold your sweet sweet smile.  
I'd be there, I'd be there, I'd be there, I'd be there

I'd be there.”

After he sung, Laurence could hear that her breathing became slow, and calm. “Are you there, love?” he asked “Mhhmmm…” she said drowsily, and he knew in a few minutes she’ll be asleep. So he carried on;

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day’s  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death.”

Soon enough, he heard sweet gentle purrs, as she lay with her phone beneath her head, on his pillow and clutching the first toy he won for her on their date at the Pier. Laurence smiled and whispered “Sweet dreams love. Sleep now, for tomorrow you shall wake, and I’ll love you still. Sleep well my love, till the sun rises again, in the early morn, I will love you forever more.”  
Laurence hung up and fell into a deep sleep himself. Soon enough, he’ll be back and they would never part again, not if he can help it, and if she wants it.

Xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo—xoxo

Laurence finished everything, late Friday afternoon and bought a train ticket as soon as he finished, ready to leave this all behind. A few months from now, the papers will come through and it will all be done.   
It was almost close to midnight when he arrived in London, and took off to Clara’s place. Letting himself in, he carefully opened the bedroom door to see her fast asleep. Carefully, he took his place beside her, and kissed her temple not wanting to wake her; she would have to see in the morning.  
As if by instinct, Clara curled herself to him, throwing an arm around his waist and resting her head on his chest, with a soft murmur; “I love you, Laurence.”  
Laurence smiled and hugged her softly and whispered; “I love you too, my Clara.” he smiled, and drifted off to sleep.  
Morning came, and Clara was surprised by the arm that was holding her tight. She could feel her heart racing and gently turned around to see who it was, but she had known in her heart, who it is. Turning gently, she was greeted by a sleeping Laurence beside her. She couldn’t help the tears stinging her eyes, he was here, just like he promised, on her birthday. Without a second thought she flung herself to him and hugged him with a yelp; “Laurence!”  
Laurence was surprised and shocked awake, when Clara yelled and hugged him. “Happy birthday, my Clara…” he whispered and she hugged him tighter; “You’re here…”  
Laurence kissed her soundly, when he pulled away he looked into her eyes and said; “On your darkest days, when you feel most alone; I just want you to know, that you’ll always have me, and I’ll be there.”  
She smiled and kissed him passionately and pushed him down on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt; “Best birthday ever!”


	14. Still Fallin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on the song "Still Fallin"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im planning to finish this before i go back to school on Monday :D

CHAPTER 14: “Still Fallin”

Laurence likes to think that sometimes a relationship is like spinning and falling then getting right back up again. It spins and makes you confused, dizzy and hazed. When you fall, it’s always deep, fast, and hard. And you can’t stop falling. The falling that you think is so wrong, but it feels so right. The getting back up, trying to convince yourself that you have not fallen and you were never even spinning in the first place. 

Getting back up has always been the hardest part of a relationship. He never thought he was able to get back up that first time he fell so hard, he felt his whole world came crashing down and nothing else mattered. When you get back up, you might expect to still feel symptoms of spinning, but he feels the fall. He remembers the exact moment that it happened and how it happened. And then he’s falling again, falling without even realizing it.

He fell…again. He fell in love again, and this time it was harder, faster. He didn’t want to fall again, he was so afraid nobody was there to catch him; but he can’t help it. No matter how much he tried to deny his feelings, they still came out in a fiery ball, waiting to be unleashed.

His heart was pounding and his cheeks were flushed, his nerves were tingling, his feelings ablaze. He convinced himself that he won't fall again, but it's already happened by the time that he’s convinced. He never knows when the falling stops and the spinning begins again, but it doesn't matter, because the spinning never lasts for long.

She never thought she’d fall for him. She thought it was just mere infatuation; yet here she was loving him with all that she has, and all that she is. She never thought she can crack him open; his walls were so tightly built; she didn’t know if she could even break through them

Now here she is, falling harder than ever before. His lips are attacking hers, all of his emotions being poured into one kiss. His teeth are grabbing her bottom lip, causing Clara to whimper. She's opening her mouth, allowing him entrance. He's running his hands down her body, hooking his fingers on the waistband of her robe. Now he's untying her robe, pushing it off of her shoulders, his hands moving back down to her waist. He's pushing her back up against the Wall and Clara's not sure that she'll ever be able to get back up again. She's already fallen too hard.

After months of waiting whether his divorce with be finalized, he never thought he’d be happy the day it came to be. He was torn inside because he never thought it had to end the way it did, but at the same time he knew he could start a new chapter with the woman he came to love, and loved him for who he is.

Heart on his sleeve, he made way through the city bustle and went to her place; a place where he had found solace, peace and love. With her is where he feels, secure, happy and safe. For once, finally he could admit to himself that he is happy.

He's running his hands through her hair now, pulling a little bit too hard when his fingers get tangled in her hair. She's moaning softly into his mouth, her hands gripping at his jumper, pulling him closer. She's pushing him back towards the sofa, a gentle growl being emitted from him when he hits the soft cushion.

He's pulling away from the kiss now, his forehead resting on hers, his breath coming out uneven. He’s mumbling words of how she has become his world, and how she changed his life. Then he’s mumbling words of anxiety and fear. Sometimes he couldn’t help but to ask questions, and to doubt. He didn’t even know how they managed to be where they are; all he knows is that her love for her is blinding, and that his needs were selfish, but he is far in too deep now; and he couldn’t let her go…wouldn’t let her go.

His hands ran across her chestnut tresses and let them stay put on her nape. His fingers gently creating patterns that were sending shivers down her spine. She's silencing his questions with small, comforting kisses, letting him know that everything is going to be okay. She looks him in the eye and tells him, reassuring him that she’s not going anywhere. She gives him a devilish smirk and guides his hand down her curves, and she moans.

He's grinning sheepishly then, his hands moving down to her shoulders. His lips touch hers gently, allowing her to feel a sense of comfort and extreme softness that she has never felt before.

The kiss is getting less chaste now, the chasteness being replaced by a deep intimacy. He's pushing her away from the sofa then, guiding her to the bedroom. His fingers fumbling with the linen that were covering her body; clothes are being scattered across the small corridor leaving trail of, jumpers, shirts, robes, pants and all; their hands roaming the endless sea of skin that has been memorized by heart. Their touches were like searing marks along the freshly vacated skin; heat was pooling in her stomach, while blood rushed through his member, as his response.

He's resting his forehead on hers, trying to get his laughter under control. She's giggling and placing her hands on his cheek, kissing him over and over. He loves the way she showers his face with small delicate kisses; never has he felt this love, than he is now. Watching her laugh, and seeing her happy is new heaven for him; and he would keep it that way if he could. She’s his haven now, and he’ll be hers.

And now she's laughing as he fumbles off the tangled sheets and takes off his shoes. She's flipping him over so she's on top, nuzzling his neck, trying to suppress her giggles. He's enveloping her in his arms, his laughter subsiding, a silly grin finding its way onto his face. He kisses the top of her head and moves his hands down to her waist, flipping her back over again.

Whispering words of endearment over and over, trailing kisses on every inch of skin he can reach to show her how much she means to him. Never will he falter to give her the attention she deserves. She’s become his world, the center of his life; and she never has to second guess his love for her.

Now she's looking up at him and pouting, her hands planted firmly on his torso. Then he's laughing again, kissing her nose and whispering apologies to this lovely creature looming over him. She's smiling now, her hands moving down his chest, her fingers hooking onto his waistband. And then his laughter stops abruptly, his face being taken over by a look of arousal.

And now here she is falling, even though she's sure that she can't fall any deeper. And she's now quite sure, but she thinks that she can feel him falling too. She slides her hands towards the center of his trousers and unbuttons them slowly. Her hands slide up his torso and she feels his hands twitch slightly on her hips. She gently kisses his collar bones, her hands venturing down his body.

Now she's unzipping his trousers, pulling them off, laughing when they get stuck halfway. He's laughing along with her, telling her not to laugh. She finishes taking off his trousers and kisses his lips gently. She starts to pull away, but now he's grabbing her wrists and pinning her down, planting his lips on hers and kissing her hungrily. He's grinding his hips into hers, his hands letting go of her wrists and frames her face, her beautiful face.

She puts her hands on his chest and pushes him lightly. He pulls away and growls quietly. And that's when she knows. She knows that she's fallen so deep that there's no turning back without falling apart. She feels the sensation of spinning and falling all at once, but she feels no uncertainty or fear. She looks into his eyes, trying to find that same feeling in his eyes, and somewhere in a distant part of his eyes, hidden away very well by a fog of lust, is that feeling. 

“It came through…” he whispered and her eyes grew wide but remain silent. Beneath she could see hope in his eyes, the love was very strong, but then there was fear…

And now there's fear in his eyes. She's stopped making moves. He's scared that she's regretting everything that's just happened. He's scared that she's going to push him away and pretend like this never happened. He’s in too deep, he can’t lose her now. To Laurence, he needs Clara like the air he breathes; he’s fallen hard; too hard for his liking and even harder than he could ever imagine.

"Clara? My love, my Clara…" He asks, his voice filled with a hidden sadness.

“I love you…” she whispers.

His eyes widen and his hands move down to her neck, his thumbs absentmindedly stroking the skin there. He stares at her for a second, a sparkle in his eyes.

Relief…hope.

“I love you, Clara Oswald…” He whispers.

And now she's kissing him hungrily, her hands trailing down his body, grabbing onto his undergarments and tugging. He's swatting her hand away and mumbling, “You’re wearing too much clothes…”

She can’t believe it came through; she can’t wait for the day that they’ll be together…forever. She wants him, and wants him to be his. He told her he already is, but now she can flaunt to world and tell them without a doubt that he is hers.

Her cheeks turn a rosy pink as she quickly lets go of his undergarments and grabs the hem of her nightgown. She's roughly pulling it over her head and throwing it onto the floor. Now she's unclasping her bra, taking it off quickly and throwing it on the floor.

He's looking down at her, his eyes filled with awe and love. He's quickly taking off his undergarments, then hers. He plants his mouth on her neck and sucks roughly. Now she's crying out, her hands grabbing onto his sides, her nails digging into his back. He's trailing kisses down her body, stopping when he gets to her belly button. 

He kisses her flat stomach reverently, always the gentleman he is. He's looking up at her, his eyes asking for permission. She's nodding slightly, but then pulling him up. Now she can feel his arousal pushing up against her.

“Laurence…” She whispers, the word just barely coming out.

“Clara…” He breathes.

And with that, he's lowering himself into her, his hands planting themselves on the bed beside her. He's moving slowly and swiftly, being as delicate as possible. She's moving her hips in tune with his now, her hands bunching up handfuls of sheets. He's burying his face into her neck, whimpering and nuzzling her neck, his thrusts becoming faster. She's curling up into him, biting down into his shoulder to try and suppress the noises she's making.

Every time is like their first time; always filled with love, and awe. Laurence was such a wonderful and patient lover. He worships her body, like it were of a Goddess, leaving trails of searing touches and kisses that leaves an ember fire ablaze in her heart, and soul.

And then his thrusts stop and he's moving his head away from her neck so he can look at her. And then he's laughing and nuzzling her neck again, whispering 'I love you' over and over. She's moving back from his shoulder and kissing his ear, giggling and whispering 'I love you too' each time she takes a ragged breath out.

Then he's biting her collarbone and sucking. Now he's thrusting again, starting slowly then going as fast as he can, using all of his might. She's trying to meet his thrusts and moaning in ecstasy. Then she's arching her back, throwing her head back and now she's laughing and moaning at the same time. Then he's changing his angle and it all becomes just a bit too much for her.

Now she's seeing stars and crying out, her climax causing her to tighten around him. He's shouting her name now, his breath becoming ragged. He's nuzzling his nose into her neck and whimpering, his arms enveloping her tiny frame. He's mumbling something into her neck and peppering her with kisses. Then she's relaxing, wrapping her arms around him and smiling contently. He's falling to her side, placing a kiss on her temple.

Then, in the blink of an eye, she's fallen asleep and he's intertwining his legs with hers. Now he's falling asleep in her arms, a smile finding its way onto his face.  
They can be together now, if she wanted. What the world thinks doesn’t matter. He knows he’s being selfish, because he knows he’ll never be enough; but he can always strive to become more.

He loves her so, this much is true. If he has to spend what’s left of his life to prove that he loves her, then he will; she’s worth it after all, so very worth it to the very end.

And here they are, both of them falling deeper than they've fallen before. Except, this time they aren't scared to fall, because they know that they have each other to catch them. This time, they aren't scared because they know that the other is falling with them. This time they aren't scared of falling because they have each other, and they couldn't be happier.


	15. Music and Lyrics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> competition...familiar faces..songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli or Josh Groban, or Il Divo or even Sarah Brightman   
> and  
> For The Longest Time by Billy Joel

CHAPTER 15: “Music and Lyrics”

It’s almost been a year since Laurence moved to London. It’s almost been a year that he’s become a teacher to his set of not-so-little pudding brains, and it’s almost been a year that he and Clara had been a couple. He smiled at the thought while he twirling a ring around his long and elegant fingers.

Just over a month or two ago, he and his choir was invited to join the annual choir competition; and he was more than ecstatic to join. He and his choir had been working long and hard hours to perfect two song pieces for the competition. He decided on some pieces that they would all enjoy; Laurence, as loathe as he was to admit it, has dropped his bullying stance just to win a competition. For him, win or lose, his choir is still the best in his eyes.

Being so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t noticed that someone was watching him from the door jamb. He decided to give the pudding brains (as he affectionately call them) a ten minute break. After all, it was a Saturday, and as much as he didn’t want to do this, the competition was just now a week away.

“What do you have there, Mr. Barker?” He jumped up just a bit when he heard the voice and was not surprised to see that it was Beth and Charlie. The two of them were the little “smart-asses” for his taste, but none that he couldn’t handle. 

He quickly pocketed the ring, when the two of them walked towards his table. “It’s a lovely ring, Sir…” Charlie said with a little smile. Laurence sighed and knew there was no use into hiding it. He took the small velvet box from his pocket and opened them to see. It was a beautiful vintage rose gold diamond ring with three rows as band with different stones on each band; a set of sapphire for purity and wisdom, ruby for passion and love, and finally emerald for beauty and patience. “T’was my Mam’s…” he said with a sad little smile; “she told me to give to the woman I love…” he said down at it. “I bet you’re glad you didn’t give it your first wife, didn’t you?” Beth asked if a bit blunt. Laurence chuckled and returned the ring to the box; “Yeah, I think I am…”

Charlie leaned on his desk and quizzed him; “when are you planning to give it to Ms. Oswald then?” Laurence looked at him with a rise of an eyebrow; “Why would you think I’m goin’ to give it to her?” Charlie looked a little skeptical at his answer “Well you ARE together, unless you’re planning to ditch her, ‘coz you have someone else in mind…” now it was his turn to wince just a little bit; “I’m not planning on “ditching” her to use your term no…” he was going to continue but Beth cut him off “because you love her.” she finished for him, and Laurence met her eyes; “and when you love someone, even though it just takes a moment for you to say “I love you”, it takes a lifetime to prove that you love them…”  
Laurence looked at the girl and just dove in head first; “you know, sometimes I doubt if you really are just an 8th grader, I mean honestly…” and then they all laughed. “So, the second piece…” Charlie started and Laurence furrowed his brow just a bit; “is that for her?” he asked with a bit of a smile on his face. “Ah! Don’t deny…” Beth chirped before he can even answer, and Laurence just shrugged it off; “You owe me lunch…” Beth said punching Charlie in the arm which made Laurence cringe a little; “were you two betting on me?” the two just looked at him and he groaned; “was it that obvious?” he asked. Both Beth and Charlie just laughed and shook their heads; “to us, it was… but they won’t even know, promise.” Beth said with a smile.

Xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

The day of the competition came and Laurence herded his little choir inside the church. Clara along with Danny (surprisingly…not so) Rory and Amy came with him to watch and cheer.

From the other side of the church hall, one Francis Crawford cannot believe his ears when he heard the familiar Scottish brogue and scoured the hall, and sure his ears didn’t deceive him when his eyes laid sight on none other than Laurence Barker himself.  
Francis excused himself from his crowd and walked to where Laurence where; “Well, well! So I see that this is where the wind blew you when you chose to run away with your tail between your legs…” 

Laurence drew in a sharp breath and slowly turned almost horrified to know who the voice belonged to. Slowly turning to look from behind, he turned to see none other than Francis Crawford. “Francis.” He said with a scowl on his face; “what winds blew you to this part of town?” he asked with a bit of venom in his voice.   
Francis laughed if a bit haughtily and crossed his arms across his chest. “We came to win this year’s choir competition, like always.” He sneered at him. “Seeing you here, now I know I came to prove you that I am still better than you wherever you are.” Laurence gritted his teeth and growled a bit.  
“You are nothing if talentless, Francis.” He growled at him, stepping closer to his full height and towering almost a head over him. “You better make sure, you’ll make do before I show you what talent is.”

Francis laughed loud enough for him to draw attention to the two of them; “Are you still onto this? I think it’s about time that you decipher that I am the better man“  
“You are no such thing…” Laurence sneered before he continued “You are nothing but a talentless cheater.”  
Francis laughed even more, enjoying the few seconds of bringing out the beast in him. “Me? Talentless? May I remind you, that I am the one who has your dream job.” He laughed “You lied on your CV, we both know that’s the truth…” Laurence hissed. Francis stepped forward so that they were almost nose to nose at a standoff; “You are nothing but a bully, a loser and a coward.” He said bringing a finger to his chest.

“You do not touch me!” Laurence finally snapped. Laurence took all of the attention from both sides of the hall.   
George Bullard was surprised to see Laurence and Francis again in a face-off. Before he could take any action, Tom Barnaby has headed off to where Francis was, with Ben Jones in tow.

They did no action; just in case something was to happen, they were there break it off.  
Clara went closer and tried to pry him away from the other man, but he brushed her hand away .Danny and Rory were close to follow.  
Laurence swatted his hand away and hovered over Francis hissing “I only want what is best for them. I do not bully them; I push them because I want them to win. And I do not pretend. I am if nothing but a coward; Caledonians are not a coward.”  
“Not a coward, you say?” Francis smiled if a bit smug; “May I remind you that you ran away even before the completion began…” Laurence snapped and lunged for him but was caught by Danny and Rory in mid-air. Tom and Ben pulled Francis back before he could attack first; “Laurence!” Clara shouted shattering the moment. “Let go!” Laurence hollered bit; “This isn’t over Francis, I’m going to win this, not you. Show you once and for all, I am better than you.” Laurence said storming away to calm himself.

Clara stepped forward with Rory and Danny behind him and slapped the daylights out of Francis. “A real man will be honest no matter how painful is he truth. A coward hides behind lies and deceit.” She began as she sneered at him, angered that he had the nerves to call Laurence, talentless and a coward. “Don’t think Laurence did not know that you were spying on him during their practices. You sir, are nothing but a cheater, even if you deny it. Cheaters are cowards that are tempted to chase the fantasy of what could be instead of courageously addressing their own self-destructive behavior and cultivating what is.”  
Francis had no words after that. He thought for sure Laurence did not know that he was spying on him. before he could register what was happening, he felt a sharp pain to the shin and saw a young boy glaring at him; “Jerk!” he said before turning back to sit down beside the others.

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“Right!” Laurence said to his pupils, trying to remain calm and keep his nerves at bay. “We can do this, okay? Win or lose I’ll still treat you for ice cream, I promise.” He smiled, but they noticed how it didn’t reach his eyes.   
“We’ll win…” Ralph assured him “as long as you believe in us, were winners.” He said with a smile. “We’re gonna win for you, we promise…” Charlie chimed in “No jerk is going to beat us.” Beth finished.

Laurence nodded and stood up. “Yeah… no jerk is going to beat us.” He smiled at them and breathed out “Okay! We can do this, yeah?” he smiled at them; “Yeah!!” they all cheered “group hug!!” Beth exclaimed and they all came piling around him to give him hugs.  
Clara stepped closer and pecked Laurence on the lips softly; “no matter what happens, you’re still a winner okay?” Laurence nodded and smiled a bit; “yeah…” Clara smiled and hugged him tight; “I love you…” she said kissing his temple. Laurence hugged her tighter and whispered “I love you too…”  
“okay, okay… break up… we need to win…” Beth said making them both smile; “I’m going to say this, but just once…” Laurence looked down at her and smiled; “smart-ass…” Beth laughed before she walked away; “you know it!”

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The lights all went dim, as a single spotlight lit the children, and one for Laurence. The glow illuminating them, making them looks almost angelic, each face was basked under the soft lights. There was a moment of silence before he rose, and they opened their pieces, smiling to the audience just a little. Walking closer, he stood on the small pedestal. Raising his arms, as a signal to prepare; and with the first beat they began to sing.  
Two pieces were prepared, to be sung accordingly. Of any genre, with their almost own rendition.

“Quando sono solo sogno all'orizzonte  
E mancan le parole  
Si lo so che non c' luce  
In una stanza quando manca il sole  
Se non ci sei tu con me, con me  
Su le finestre  
Mostra a tutti il mio cuore che hai accesso  
Chiudi dentro me  
La luce che hai incontrato per strada  
Time to say goodbye paesi che non ho mai  
Veduto e vissuto con te adesso si li vivro  
Con te partiro su navi per mari che, io lo so  
No, no, non esistono piu, it's time to say goodbye  
Quando sei lontana sogno all'orizzonte  
E mancane le parole  
E io s lo so che sei con me, con me  
Tu mia luna tu sei qui con me  
Mio sole tu sei qui con me, con me, con me, con me  
Time to say goodbye paesi che non ho mai  
Veduto e vissuto con te adesso s li vivro  
Con te partiro su navi per mari che, io lo so  
No, no, non esistono piu con te io li rivivro  
Con te partiro su navi per mari che, io lo so  
No, no, non esistono pi con te io li rivivro  
Con te partiro  
Io con te”

Their voices rising, falling, all melodic and angelic; the crowd was quiet all placed in awe. Francis was gritting his teeth, Laurence did it again. Then came the second piece…

“Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest  
If you said goodbye to me tonight  
There would still be music left to write  
What else could I do  
I'm so inspired by you  
That hasn't happened for the longest time  
Once I thought my innocence was gone  
Now I know that happiness goes on  
That's where you found me  
When you put your arms around me  
I haven't been there for the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest time  
Oh, oh, oh  
For the longest  
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall  
And the greatest miracle of all  
Is how I need you  
And how you needed me too  
That hasn't happened for the longest time  
Maybe this won't last very long  
But you feel so right  
And I could be wrong  
Maybe I've been hoping too hard  
But I've gone this far  
And it's more than I hoped for  
Who knows how much further we'll go on  
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone  
I'll take my chances  
I forgot how nice romance is  
I haven't been there for the longest time  
I had second thoughts at the start  
I said to myself  
Hold on to your heart  
Now I know the woman that you are  
You're wonderful so far  
And it's more than I hoped for  
I don't care what consequence it brings  
I have been a fool for lesser things  
I want you so bad  
I think you ought to know that  
I intend to hold you for the longest time”

They performed a beautiful harmony, their echoes reverberating around the domes of the church as it bounces along the wood and the concrete. Clara watched his hands dexterously and gracefully moving, dictating the rhythm of the music.  
His head fell back as the music overtook him; this was him in his element, in all his glory and passion-filled heart. A majestic tone filled the room that came from the singers, sweeping each audience with their well-blended voices. 

The song ended and one by one a clap sounded before they all stood up and clapped uproariously, when Laurence turned and gave them a final bow. Clara smiled as their eyes met, blowing him kisses, and mouthing “ I love you…” to him and he replied with “that was for you.”

To be continued… in epilogue.


	16. Make You Feel My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ending and epilogue.

CHAPTER 16: Make You Feel my Love (EPILOGUE and ENDING) 

ENDING:  
Sure enough the judges were astounded by the performance and Laurence won. Not the one to bear grudges he went over to Francis and shook his hand. Francis on the other hand, accepted his loss and took his hand to shake. “I think you should know…” he said before Laurence turned away. “You won the last competition too. Sad you weren’t there to see how wonderful they’ve done. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re happy here.” Francis stopped wondering if she should carry on but decided to say it nonetheless; “You deserve someone better than Ellen, and that little lady…” he stopped and smiled “She’s a keeper.” Laurence smiled and walked back to him; “Bygones be bygones… I didn’t know I won… and yeah, yeah she is.” They shook hands again and Francis smiled, but Ben Jones stepped in; “The trophy has your name, we’ll send it to you… you deserve it.” Laurence smiled and thanked them all before walking back to his pupils.

“Don’t you think you should do it now?” Beth asked “do what?” Laurence asked back “ask her…to marry you.” Charlie pushed; “go on we’ll back you up… we just know the song.” He said running away. Beth held Laurence’s hand and shouted “Ms. Oswald! Mr. Barker has something to say to you…” she hollered. Clara turned and looked at them as she queued the other two guitars and music to play, and Charlie handed one to Laurence as well. “It’s now or never…” Beth said and pushed Laurence near the microphone as he began to play with the music.

“You'd think for all the days I've known you  
That I would have you memorized by now  
With Every question answered,  
Every single page turned  
But you keep me on the edge somehow  
And every day with you is still a mystery  
With the sweetest story's falling from your lips  
I hold on to every word,  
Like it's the first one that I've heard  
It's the only time I've ever felt like this this  
But after all this time, you'd think I'd be used to the pull of your gravity  
And after flying so high for so long, who would think  
I'm still learning, still burning, still fallin', still fallin'  
I still reach for your hand because I need it  
And your kiss is still the spark that lights a fire  
You're still laughing with me,  
And we're still making memories,  
I'm still a fool for you, and there's a million reasons why  
After every late night street light drive  
Every love you miss you kiss goodnight  
Girl, your name is still my favorite  
Always will be and I'm still wanting, still all in, I'm still fallin'  
I'm still fallin',  
Still chasin', still nervous, still reelin', still dreamin' about this  
And after every sunrise holding you,  
After all the crazy we've been through  
Every day and every minute girl it's something new,  
I'm still learning, still burning, yeah still wanting, still all-in, still fallin'.  
Still falling.” 

Clara couldn’t help the warm feeling watching Laurence sing for her in public. She didn’t notice her emotions taking over until she felt a stray tear fell down her cheek. She can feel his love resonating around the building as he looked her straight in the eye while singing.

This was their story, how they fall, and how they keep falling over and over and so much harder for each other.  
As the song ended she watched Laurence walked towards where she stood

He smiled and took her hand in his; “this is if all a bit unplanned… I… I was bullied into this…” he said looking over his shoulders to look at their almost too innocent faces.

“Clara, my love, I know that you and I have known each other for just a year; and with that you took me in, broke down my walls, and fixed by broken parts. When you look at me, I know you see the real me. The real Laurence Barker. You see the man is before you. The man you have come to know, the man that I once was that was left hidden somewhere, almost forgotten. No matter what has been said about me, you looked right through all of that and captured the very essence of me…this is the real Laurence you cry out for in your moment of such ecstasy. I know there is not another person in this Earth who knows me like you do, who loves me inside and out like you. There is no one who was ever capable of capturing my heart and soul as you have..”

Pausing a moment to gauge her reaction; she was entranced. He had prepared himself for this, but not at this moment. He looked down at their hands then back up into her eyes as they start to fill with tears, understanding what he was saying.

“I love you Clara Oswald, I can promise you I will love you, protect you, cherish you like no other man can. Will you do me the honor…”  
Laurence paused and slowly got down to one knee while holding her left hand in his right.  
The crowd waited with anticipation.

Laurence looked up at her holding a small box with a ring

“Will you marry me, Clara Oswald? Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Laurence asked.  
Clara let the tears flow as her right hand came up to cover her mouth as she smiled with excitement.

“I love you, Laurence. Yes!...Yes I will!”  
The small crowd went crazy all cheering and whistling.

At that Clara bend down and cupped Laurence’s face with her free had and kissed him passionately. Laurence kissed her back with the same passion, they gently broke the kiss and placed the ring on her finger. The most beautiful diamond she had even seen.

She wiped the tears starting to fall down his cheeks and embraced her new fiancée and gave him a quick kiss. He pulled away and glanced at the kids who were giving him a “thumbs up”.

Laurence just shook his head and looked back at Clara. She smiled and cupped his face in her hands as he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her hips.  
He couldn’t wait for them to start a new chapter in their lives as Mr. and Mrs. Barker

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EPILOGUE:

 

"Daddy... pssst... daddy." A little hand reached up and poked a sleeping Laurence. "Daddy."  
"Mmm," Laurence pulled away from his wife and flipped onto his back. Turning to see what had the audacity to wake him up from a very real and very steamy dream, his agitation immediately quelled when he saw two blue eyes staring back at him, just barely able to peak over the edge of the bed.

"Daddy, I's scared," the little girl whispered.  
"Of what, sweetpea?"

"The thunder. It loud."

"It is rather loud, isn't it?" Laurence asked as if seriously pondering her statement."  
"Can I sleep with you and mommy pwease?" A sweet smile formed over Laurence Barker's face as he realized, not for the first time, that he had finally met the only girl in the world who had him further wrapped around her finger than Clara did, their first little treasure, their 5 year old Clair Barker.

"Of course, baby." Placing his hands under the little girl's arms he lifted her onto his and Clara’s king sized bed, allowing her to snuggle into his side. They laid there for a long time and every time that the thunder rolled through the house he could feel his daughter tremble. "Do you want to go get some milk to try and help you sleep better?"  
The little girl nodded and Laurence climbed out of bed, picking his five year old daughter up in his arms. Sitting her on the counter, Laurence pulled away to go get them a glass of milk to share. Ever like her mother, Laurence noticed that her eyes squinted in suspicion of him as he returned with a glass of milk in one hand and his other behind his back.  
"Daddy, what do you have behind your back?"

"You see, thunder likes to come around and scare little girls out of their beds at night but he forgets one thing."  
"What's that?" she asked, her eyes full of wonder as she stared at her father, her hero.  
"That all daddies know how to keep their little girls from getting scared. You simply give them a cookie." He pulled out two cookies from behind his back. "You eat this cookie and you'll feel all better."  
"Rewey, daddy?"

"Really." He crossed his heart and chuckled as she took the cookie from him and dipped it into the milk before taking a bite.  
"Mmm. I already feel better daddy!" The little girl almost shouted.  
"Shhhh, sweetpea, mommies don't understand this rule like daddies do, you don't want mommy to wake up and take it from you." The little girl's eyes grew and she covered her mouth, looking to the kitchen door to make sure that her mommy wasn't there.

When they had both finished their cookies and drank their milk, Laurence once again picked up his daughter and they began their trek back up the marble staircase. As the little girl realized that he was walking towards her room, she tightened her arms and legs around him. "Can I still sleep with you, daddy, pwetty pwease?"  
Laurence sighed as if he were being asked to make some giant sacrifice, jokingly of course. "If you must."  
"I must."

 

Once again, Laurence laughed at his daughter and began taking her to his and Clara’s room. Crawling into bed, he felt Clara shift, but she did not wake. Laurence laid his daughter on his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "Goodnight daddy, I love you."

 

"I love you, too, sweetpea. Sweet dreams." He uttered these words, despite the fact that he could tell that she was already asleep. Laurence allowed the last words she had spoken to float around in his mind on repeat and his heart swelled that he had the family he once dreamed about.  
A few more minutes later, it was then Clara who felt something dipping on the bed; it was their 4 year old boy Laurie (Laurence II) who came as a "anniversary surprise" for Laurence, and he wouldn't have it any other way. She slowly turns to see Laurie crawling under the blankets so he was in the middle situated between his parents and her older sister, and Clara opens her arms for him; "mmmhmm... Bed bug"

 

"Mommy, I sleep with you Daddy and Claire..." he whispered snuggling deeper "thunder loud...I scared..." Clara kissed his head and hugged him tight "it's okay, munchkin, Mommy is here...the thunder won't get you... Daddy will make sure it won't get you, and so will mommy..." she said ruffling his hair; "goodnight mommy, I love you..." Laurie whispered; and Clara smiled "I love you too munchkin, sweet dreams..." Clara whispered despite the fact that he knows he's already asleep. She let her heart soar at the thought that her dreams had come true, finally. A man she loves, and who loves her too; and children. She was finally a mom.  
Laurie snuggles into her mother and both fall back to sleep but only after Laurence’s arm fall on the three of them; see blinked some more of the sleep away from her eyes to register the situation; now, both Claire and Laurie were on their bed as Laurence cuddles them. Having their children safely in her arms makes her even happier but also being wrapped up in Laurence’s arms made her feel even more safe knowing that her family was safe and sound.

 

Not an hour or so later, another roll of thunder cracked and lightning illuminated their room; and not a minute later two more set of scampering feet came crawling into their bed; "mommy mommy..." a little girl shook her arm while "daddy, daddy..." a little boy pulled at Laurence. Clara’s eyes open only to see their 3 year old fraternal twins Clarence and Clarisse sitting atop their duvet eyes wide with fear from the thunder; "we sleep with you..." Clarence said tears pooling in his big blue eyes. "we scared thunder..." came Clarisse little plead as her brown eyes start to mist up; Clara groans and sits up in bed careful not to make too much noise so to wake up the two older ones.

 

"Honey...wake up..." she said shaking Laurence who just groaned "Laurence, wake up..." she shook him a little harder and raised her voice minutely. "what??" came Laurence’s sleepy reply; "what's wrong-..." but he cut himself off seeing his children in their bed; he looked over sleepily to his wife and groaned; "we need a bigger bed..." Laurence whined before repositioning themselves in order for them to fit all together "this bed is King Size honey..." Clara replied shuffling the pillows for them; "then we'll get the California KING size one..." Laurence said with a small smile on his face.  
A few minutes later, in between their parents the children slept peacefully away from the wrath of the thunder and lightning, as Laurence sung them all to sleep. 

“When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love  
When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love  
I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
no doubt in my mind were you belong  
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love  
The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet  
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love  
To make you feel my love”

Laurence looked at his family; smiling slightly as sleep overtook him; "goodnight my angels...sweet dreams" Laurence uttered, despite the fact that he could tell they were already asleep. Laurence allowed himself and these words to flow inside his mind on repeat and his heat swelled with the thrill knowing that he was finally blessed to have a family.

**Author's Note:**

> my thanks goes out to Travellinghopefully... you are the bomb!! thanks so much ;D


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